Oops. I'm new to the forum so I'm not sure how this all works with multiple responses. I think I responded in the wrong place.
Thank you to everyone. This is very helpful!
Basically, the vet confirmed anxiety. And I was told by the dog trainer that he has CCD when he was 5 months old after she spent time with him and watched his behaviors. At that time she suspected it, and now he has many of the symptoms so it's what it is.
He does need a LOT of exercise, but I have to say that I feel like we do a really good job for people who work full time. The vet said we've done more than most people and all we can for him, physically.
Someone asked me if we chose him or the breeder did. The breeder did and I put in my application that I wanted as laid back a dog as possible. The most laid back one went to a special needs family, which I understand, but he has always been the furthest thing from laid back and I let the breeder know all along. She says no other dog is like him in the litter. So it makes me wonder what is going on. I know they were an active litter but no one else is having these issues, apparently.
As for how he was as a young puppy, the same way but smaller, basically. He's gotten worse over the past month.
For example, my friend who watched him for us in August and is a vet tech said he's got "faulty wiring" in his brain. He's just "not right." Like I said, I get Goldens and I've had them for most of 20 years. They typically have an attachment to us but he seems not able to be "present." His mind is racing when he's out of the crate. At least, that's my opinion.
I wish I didn't have to crate him but he just can't be trusted to not eat the couch or even the walls. He eats everything he can.
He doesn't hate his crate, at least that we can tell. He goes in with some prodding. He doesn't cry in there unless it's a time when he sees us and wants to be with us.
But part of me worries that his anxiety is because he is cooped up in there many hours in a day. But again, I do have him out at intervals all day and he gets a lot of exercise.
He probably is bored, but unfortunately, we were completely honest in our application for him when we explained our lifestyle. While we have 3 kids, they don't play with him because one of them is in college and the others are pretty much afraid of him. He is big now and started humping and getting rough, not aggressive. He hasn't really bonded with anyone in our family. And believe me, we've given him ample opportunity. He likes us but not sure if he can bond.
Yes, we've taught him "lie down" and he knows it. We started doing "sit" when he's tail chasing yesterday and it seems to distract him.
Also, he's not dog aggressive. But I don't know what reactive is. He likes all dogs and people but he's just not "engaged" with them really. Kind of like he's half there.
Other than pacing, tail chasing and panting, he doesn't show any other typical signs of anxiety like shaking or barking. In fact, he's never really barked. We heard him do it three separate times, just one bark.
I have taken him to a dog park, as someone suggested, but the last time was not good. He got ganged up on and it was scary. He didn't know how to really fight back but he was overpowered. And I didn't want to risk it again. Male dogs don't like him but that could be because he's still not neutered. He's a nice dog to others for the most part.
I have not given him a job. Not sure what a job would be. Let me know whomever suggested that. Thanks!
I think that's about it. Thanks again!