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I WILL be using the report button

6K views 52 replies 30 participants last post by  HiTideGoldens 
#1 ·
I decided to put this here because it is a suggestion for improvement on this forum.

Starting today I will be reporting rude people to the MODS. There are threads that I just completely avoid now because I don’t care to read the trash that is slung but that doesn't seem right. If I stand by and do nothing, that makes me as guilty as the person slinging mud. The MODS have asked us to report bad behavior and that is exactly what I intend to do.

There is a small group of people on this forum, which I will refer to as the mob, they enjoy belittling people, especially new people, and it has to stop. State your opinion and move on. The OP will either take your advice or not but posting 15 times trying to shove your opinion down their throat is called bullying.

If you have invented a proven cure for cancer then by all means shout it to the world and be heard. Otherwise all you have are opinions like the rest of us and that does not mean that everybody has to agree with what you are shoving down their throat.

I live my life trying never to be rude or mean to anyone, however, I have lived long enough to know that some people just don’t deserve my respect or kindness.

The mob seems to believe that this forum belongs to them and they can say and act the way they choose. Wrong. We are here to support each other, help each other, laugh and cry with each other. That’s what the majority of people do but the mob lives by different rules. Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. This isn’t the 7th grade. Stop trying to run new people off your turf.

So there it is. You bully or disrespect someone on this forum in order to feel your false sense of power then expect me to hit the report button. The MODS can handle it as they see fit but at least I will be doing my part. As for me, I will remain calm because serenity is power.
/rant


Lord, we ask you to open our eyes
that we may value and appreciate all people,
recognizing what we have in common
rather than focusing
on what our differences might be.
Inspire us to distinguish
between what is important
and what is not,
and open our minds and hearts
that we may always be people of good will
who bring life and joy to others. Amen.
 
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#2 ·
Came back to add this.

It is totally possible to get your point across without being nasty and rude. That is my biggest point that I'm trying to get across. Kindness goes a long way.
Try reading your words before you hit reply and see if there is maybe a different way to make your point without being rude.

And FYI. I will not be goaded into replying to nastiness. That's what the Mods are for.
 
#3 ·
I find a lot of people get very upset when you provide a dissenting opinion or disagree on something people are passionate about. People do not sign up to this forum to be ignorant and mean to new members, they sign up because they either need help (such as myself) or can provide help. Where I find people get most riled is in situations where someone who could use some words of wisdom provides their own misguided, albeit well intended advice. I think if we all accept each other, flaws included, and realize that every single person here truly loves the Golden Retriever we'll be better off.

I have never met a person who owns a Golden that I did not like.
 
#6 ·
I think there are very frustrating people... it's probably one thing when you 'meet' people who are a "pass" - for various reasons, but when there is a dog involved and they are making poor choices for those dogs.... you feel compelled to say SOMETHING.

Rudeness or thoughtful sincerity - these are perception things.
 
#7 ·
I have been here for quite a while ... not reading everything and not really being online every day and I personally haven't been answered in a rude or nasty way - at the very opposite - THANKS for this :)

BUT there have been years I've been online many hours a day in other forums and chats and so on and if there is one thing I definetely realised it's that there are TONS of frustraded people hanging in the world wide web all day long because they have no real life and therefore need to spend their "lifes" online where the can pretend to be whatever they want - unfortunately that's the crowd that becomes nasty and rude in forums like this one. There are only two ways to answer to them: 1) inform the MODS .. 2) after informing the MODS just IGNORE .. therefore: THANKS to bentleysmom for reacting :)
 
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#8 ·
Mods can't be everywhere at once. We miss things and appreciate users who do alert us to problems with the report button.

There is room for more kindness, respect, and tolerance of differing opinions on this forum. Members must realize when they pose a question on the forum, other users will give opinions based on their life experiences and knowledge. Sometimes opinions may not be what a user wants to hear, but these members try to be objective outsiders with the best interest of the dog at heart. I have learned a lot from this site and it remains a wonderful resource for pet owners around the world. Think twice, post once! ;)
 
#9 ·
You are completely right.... rudeness has gotten out of hand. Just this morning as I was catching up on the forum, I was appalled to see a post in which somebody hurled a long list of insults at fellow forum members, including saying they were on a "high horse," "preaching a sermon," "nasty," "holier than thou," and "have probably never rescued a dog." This poster also accused them of "beat(ing) up on someone just to feel superior." All while admitting to not even having read the posts that inspired the attack. Knowing that a few of my own well intentioned and long thought out posts were part of what was being described in the assault practically left me in tears. Unfortunately, the thread was closed so apparently I'm not even able to defend myself. Probably for the best, though, as I'd likely be accused of bullying next.

I'm with you. I think we should all try to think twice about the words we choose and how hurtful they may be to the people at whom they are directed.

Julie, Jersey and Oz
 
#10 ·
I totally agree that this is needed. Some are downright rude. We are here for support, not to tell others whether we think what they are doing with their furbabies is wrong or right. I had a few of these posts when I was a newbie and Fozzie was so sick. It did nothing to help--it just made me more upset. Thanks, Bentley'smom, for bringing this to the forefront...
 
#13 · (Edited)
I totally agree that this is needed. Some are downright rude. We are here for support, not to tell others whether we think what they are doing with their furbabies is wrong or right. I had a few of these posts when I was a newbie and Fozzie was so sick. It did nothing to help--it just made me more upset.
I'm pretty sure I was one of those posters at that time.... :(

I would say everything I did again, because it was kindly meant... even if it meant somebody reporting my posts to mods on the basis they felt my repeating a suggestion (getting ultrasound) as gently as I could was rude and abusive.

I do know that emotions get in the way sometimes and we do not immediately appreciate somebody not agreeing with us or supporting us. That does not mean we should be report every dissenter to the mods or encouraging people to ignore us on the basis that they believe we will strike and flail any words of comfort or suggestion right back into their face.

And hey - I've been there. I think there have been a couple threads where I posted something and did not always get the kinds of answers I had hoped for. DARNIT. :D
 
#11 ·
Threads are closed to prevent cycles of recrimination and self-defense, which are clearly off-topic and damaging to the community. Reporting posts that cross into rudeness is the right way to protect the community, signaling to the Moderators that a post or thread needs attention. The Mods have a responsibility to enforce the rules and we do so firmly.

When a sentence begins with "You said/think...," it is often a sign that something inappropriate will follow, since the statement is about another person rather than being about an issue or experience. If we avoid making statements about other people, we can go a long way towards improving the tone of discussion.
 
#14 ·
Usually how something is said is more the problem than what is meant to be said. We all are not going to agree on everything, and that is great. But as mentioned please be considerate in posts.

Also please use the reported post button on any spam you may see. It may occur in posts or in signatures of posts. We try and take a proactive approach in preventing spam on the board but some do get by us. So we need you all to hit the report a post button on those as well.

Thanks.
 
#15 ·
Usually how something is said is more the problem than what is meant to be said.
But even there - that is still very much a perception thing. That's my point.

Rob - I'm sure you yourself know very well from all the PM's that you and others have received that comments are taken out of context all the time based on emotions or preconceived notions that other people have. Or issues they have.

A good example I can think of is somebody tyraded at me (in a private message) right down to the use of smilies in comments. They bothered her and she demanded I use less of them - or something like that. She read way too much into my use of these smilies. This woman was upset with what she thought I was saying at the time and reading into EVERYTHING I said and construing it as a personal attack on her. Meanwhile she was the one personally attacking me on threads, supported by everyone else. And literally personally attacking me. <- This is online bullying as I see it. And where I truly hope people are using that report button. :uhoh:
 
#16 ·
To help prevent any misconceptions in a reported post the Mod team works together and discusses the issue so as to prevent a single Mod, or me, mis-reading something and taking action incorrectly. This is why reported posts or reported members may not have action on them right away as well. A report may take a few hours to be reviewed by the team (unless it is spam).
 
#17 ·
Just curious how this will work. If the people involved in a "heated" discussion have no issue with what is being said but another member, who is not involved in the discussion, feels one or more are being rude and that person reports it, who decides if it is or not. :curtain:
 
#20 ·
Since the door was opened I will post here.

I have seen several rude threads and individual posters. I have been spoken to very rudely with a condescending tone. I have had a number of people privately message me to let me know they to notice that I am singled out at times by a few specific members to whom I wish to not name. Though, one of those members was banned because he/she repeatably created fake accounts to single me out.

The rudeness, as far as I am aware was not addressed (because the users are still being rude to me)

I notice, on this forum (wasnt to bad before) that clans have formed. If you are not part of that clan you are shunned. If you do not share the same opinion as 90% of the people here regardless of health risks, personal choices etc you are knocked down.

This is what I have noticed and I will be honest about it now that its been started in a thread. There have also been times I have posted something and replies are "Grow up, theres no need to post that on the forum if you arent happy just leave" type of replies but when a popular well liked member posts the SAME thing it shifts to "Oh, we will miss you so much please come back"

I am not singling anyone out or anything nor am I upset with anyone I am just throwing it out there
 
#21 ·
Just like to throw it out there that last week when I asked why u r on this forum it was purely curious, it probably wasnt any of my business but I just was wondering. I have to agree with your post and I am aware and have seen that individual whom is irritating you. You pay want to contact a mod for an IP ban


Sent from Petguide.com Free App
 
#26 ·
I don't know what I missed, but I actually thought it had been getting better over the past week or two. Whenever you have 100s or 1000s of people expressing opinions, you're going to have disagreements that will be heated at times. I've found myself in the middle of them a couple times, but I've been trying my best to avoid it. The best advice I can give would be to just avoid people and threads that upset you, and let the mods do their job.
 
#28 ·
When you talk to people in person, you have the advantage of hearing the tone of voice, the pattern of speech and body language to figure out exactly what is meant. Just think about a simple phrase such as "She is so mean!" My body language or tone of voice could actually make it mean the opposite.

And some of us are not great wordsmiths. I try to read over my posts a couple of times (like now), looking for possible phrases that can be misinterpreted.

I don't expect to always agree with everyone on here, just as I don't always agree with people I see everyday. There are people I avoid, because they seem to like to argue rather than converse.

Bottomline, everyone on here loves Goldens. I learn a lot and enjoy 99% of the "conversations." But just as I miss the use of good manners in real life, I miss them online.
 
#32 ·
And some of us are not great wordsmiths. I try to read over my posts a couple of times (like now), looking for possible phrases that can be misinterpreted.
I used to do this... and then realized that it's true that if people are determined to see the bad in somebody, they will. I'm over it and generally will just remind people to read twice before taking offense.
 
#29 ·
I have and am using the ignore thing. Unfortunately it only blocks that person's response in any thread but the person can still see your post.
However A1 is correct, some members and mods tend to back each other on the threads which makes them partial.
.
 
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