Another First for Me without Mom! Xmas will not be the same without her! I Really wish Xmas was over all ready. I did get Rox a present and everyone else in my family. But things wont be the same this Year. I just want to CRY!!

In my experience, the anticipation is almost worse than the actual event. Take a deep breath and try to remember how much your mom loved this holiday. Do something totally different than you've done in previous years. Start making new traditions.

You're still gonna have a rough time, but you can make it a little less difficult.

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My Mom has been gone for a few year now and I was thinking just the other day about how we always took a day and made cookies together. In the last few years my Mom's eyesight was so poor that she really couldn't do much of the actual baking but we listened to carols ,drank a glass of wine or two and had a lot of fun .
I'm sorry your loss is still so new and painful. If possible, try to focus on the family that you are left with now and try to have as good a Christmas with them as you can. You are probably much younger than I am,but after my Mom passed away I sort of took it upon myself to make sure the the rest of the family got together for all the major holidays. (That's why I was up late last night cooking and cleaning). While you will miss your Mom for a long time, think of the love that she would have given to your family this christmas and be the one to spread her love around.