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Old 11-14-2012, 08:45 PM
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A good friend of mine's son was diagnosed with autism this year--he will be 3 in October. Once they had the diagnosis, they were able to enroll him in a special school--and in a few short months, he is excelling. Still, the diagnosis was hard on her--and some days still are. But they are for all mothers, IMO. (((HUGS))) to you for the tougher days--he is blessed he has such a wonderful mom and I know he will not only be fine--he will excel.
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:07 PM
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MercyMom, thanks for sharing. Always remember, your boy is not only a child with special needs, but a very special boy.
Buddy'smomforever : what a wonderful post.
I have trod that road with my son who was diagnosed with a "severe learning disability". He graduated from high school with all his academic credits. We watched as many of his friends received award after award on graduation day, but I think I was the proudest mother there.
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Old 11-14-2012, 09:52 PM
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I have worked with Autistic children. They are special needs and do have special needs...but most importantly they are SPECIAL! Love your son, have patience ..praying for him and your family. Xxoo
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:09 PM
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I have my masters in early childhood education with and without disabilities. I have been lucky to work with several children on the spectrum. I know getting a diagnosis is scary but its a step in the right direction. you will have so much help and support available now to help make him successfull in school and the real world. What everyone else is saying is true. No two cases are the same and autism does not define your child. Take one day at a time while figuring out what works for him and advocate on his behalf. We are all here to support you.
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:44 AM
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Ah so now you officially have two Super Glorious Miracles in your life. These souls have a great talent of melting the hearts of those who take the time to get to know them. They are great teachers here on earth. You bond will be incredibly strong but you already knew that
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Old 11-15-2012, 05:27 AM
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Thankfully, we're in an age where much is known about autism, and new treatments and therapies are being used and developed all the time.

Your son is surrounded by love in a loving home. Having Mercy as an unconditionally loving friend for him is every kid's dream, such a good thing for him, and probably no accident

The Same God who worked all that out will work on this too.
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Old 11-15-2012, 05:39 AM
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MercyMom,
having had a baby with complex medical needs and then a diagnosis of an Autistic spectrum disorder, I definately understand how you are feeling now. I am sorry for the shock, but in a strange way not sorry for your situation. Let me explain. I worried so much about my child, had no idea what the future would or could hold and was often exhausted at typical autistic trait outbursts, frustration and literal understanding that usually led to heated issues. I tired of everyone staring in town when there were problems and people tut tutting at various behaviours that we could do nothing about at the time. I would have given anything to change life and to change the frustration and suffering I knew my child felt and the boundaries it put round my other children.

But now? All our goals and hopes to date and beyond have been fulfilled and exceeded, beyond all our dreams. Beyond beyond beyond. My other children have grown into more sensitive and understanding human beings as a result of some of the rocky roads we travelled en route and it helped me to head towards the success I now have in helping people living with dementia..which is now my passion. My 'child' is now a wonderful adult. Vibrant, loving, successful and everyone's friend and confident.
I was told by a country expert in autism, after a very thorough in depth team assesment at age 7, ...'accept, this is as good as it gets, there will be no improvement from here'. I remember hearing those words ringing in my head time and time again. Like an old bell tolling and echoing. After a while, suddenly I thought 'No, it isn't, never, not as long as I have a breath in my body'...and it wasn't, she was so very wrong, she didn't know she was speaking to a very stubborn Mum who is like a dog with a bone. I never pushed, but I helped, I guided, I explained and offered alternatives and choices to every frustration, misunderstanding and upsetting situation. We created strategies for everything, the key word was 'we', I never did it alone, it was shared care and that is now something I promote and train people in with regard to dementia. We have always been able to discuss openly any tricky situations and how to deal with them and the only times I have intervened quietly without discussing it first was if there was a schooling issue..of which there were many due to misinformed, ignorant or negligent teachers. There were also many fabulous teachers..but never let them be the reason why you don't pull up the ones that aren't if you find you have issues too.

So now?! If you were to sit in a room and all my family walked in and introduced themselves, you would have a problem working out who is autistic. We recently celebrated a great achievement and one that was only possible due to the hard work and determination they have always put into all they do.

I am a very proud Mummy but I will never forget all the roads that led me to being where I am now and the pain involved to me and so many I love. I am sorry Autism had to be part of my child's make up, only because its so hard watching your own child struggle but not sorry it was a part of our lives as our lives have been enriched by its presence and my child is everyone's sunshine as a result. And now...only those that we have known since childhood know about the diagnosis, no one knew all the way through college, including tutors and no-one knows now. We aren't ashamed, there's just no need for anyone to know now and whilst we don't accept limitations, unfortunately many would be imposed by others due to stigma and preconceived ideas of what autistic traits can involve.

My advice would be to never 'accept' the supposed limitations, always involve your son in discussions and strategies and celebrate all that he can achieve and ignore all that he can't. By building on his strengths you will increase self confidence and esteem which in turn helps to strengthen any weaknesses he may have too. He will bring untold joy into your life by all his achievements and pride will burst from your seams. He is so special and so are you. Always remember..those that matter don't mind..and those that mind don't matter. It's helped me so much in the early days and proved to be so true.

Sorry for the length of this but your post brought back so many memories and I hope it's been helpful to share them and help give some insight. Hugs to you both, you will be fine. Really, you will.

Look at the child, not the diagnosis. Hes unique and the same son he was the second before the word 'autistic' passed the lips of the person who gave you the diagnosis. He's beautiful inside and out and will always always amaze and surprise you.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 11-15-2012, 08:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessie'sGirl View Post
MercyMom, thanks for sharing. Always remember, your boy is not only a child with special needs, but a very special boy.
Buddy'smomforever : what a wonderful post.
I have trod that road with my son who was diagnosed with a "severe learning disability". He graduated from high school with all his academic credits. We watched as many of his friends received award after award on graduation day, but I think I was the proudest mother there.
Charlotte you have the right to be the most proud mom there. But sure there were the others who are proud of your son too. I know how many times my daughter was proud and happy when her less fortunate friends made good marks and were successful in something. She tells me, "mom sometimes I feel so guilty that it comes so easy for me and they have to work so hard to get there".
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Old 11-15-2012, 08:43 AM
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I am so sorry to hear this news. How old is your son? From what you say, his case may be less severe? I have read that autism is much more common today, and that a lot of research is being done to find the cause, and to treat and manage the condition. You and your son will be in my thoughts.
He is 3 years old. Thanks for thinking of me.
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Old 11-15-2012, 08:45 AM
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It was a relief to me when my son was finally diagnosed with his autism, knowing about it and learning how to correctly help him has made a huge difference for our whole family and for his school. Like all kids some things are tuff for them to learn being diagnosed allows you to know exactly what your child will need help with and it allows you to make sure they get that help. Many very famous scientist have autism some parts of it can be almost like a gift, how I try and think of it. He learned algebra when he was in the 4th grade by reading a book.
The thing to remember is to find the key for each problem, Trevor hated to read but he had an obsession with cats it took a year but we were able to get him to start reading and liking cat books. He will now read for fun and not just books on cats. Each step is often a process and sometimes hugely frustrating and progress is often made in inches then leaps and bounds followed by no progress. Just be patient and I sincerely recommend books by Temple Grandin who is autistic so you can see the work thru their eyes there is another one that whose name is escaping me I will look for it
Thanks dear. I am glad that he will be more likely to get aid. We have been trying to get aid for him for months. I know God has a purpose for him.
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