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Old 01-05-2013, 08:47 PM
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Sending Prayers to you and Mike
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  #362 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-2013, 09:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldensrbest View Post
He had a scan this past thursday, there are lesions on his liver, he gets a bone scan this monday, he feels lousy, sad, that people he knows, past customers he has had for 30 years, don't stop by, we had the same problem when our son shane was hurt so bad in 1995, his friends mostly did not come by, to see him, as time went on,a few would come, but most did not,what is wrong with people?
I am so sorry you and your husband are going thru this. Sending prayers and good thoughts to you and Mike.

As far as the others, it is tough - they do not know what to say, how to say it and how to behave. My DH lost his father last year. It was very very hard for him to go visit him in the hospital. He could not bear to see him like that. His aunt did not come to the hospital or the funeral. We did go to see her and she cried and said she could not make herself go see him - it was too painful and did not want to remember her baby brother laying in bed. She loved him so so much though. She had no idea we were visiting her and I was a bit susceptible about what she said until I saw she was holding his picture in her hand.
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Old 01-05-2013, 09:55 PM
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I had a whole paragraph or two but I deleted it. There is so much I'd like to say on the subject of friends and family not visiting those who are dealing with illness and death, but I won't. I think the topic is still to raw for me...

Just wanted to say again, you are in our thoughts and prayers...please don't hesitate to let us know how things are going. I will light a candle tonight and send you warm thoughts for peace and comfort along with a lot of prayers.....
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  #364 (permalink)  
Old 01-08-2013, 09:08 AM
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As always, praying for peace and comfort for Mike and you!
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:42 PM
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absolutely the same as Mayve thinks and said..I could too but at the end of the day, those that are around you both now are the only ones who matter. I too will light a candle for you tonight and send everything positive and caring your way. I know it can hurt, I have been there through sickness of a loved one and again, since becoming ill myself,..most of my 'friends' disappeared and some of those that didn't but did the occasional 'duty' call..I made them disappear ..as I didn't need any more negative energy around me.
I didn't know what's wrong with people either, so so sorry. Thinking of you both. x
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Old 01-08-2013, 04:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goldensrbest View Post
He had a scan this past thursday, there are lesions on his liver, he gets a bone scan this monday, he feels lousy, sad, that people he knows, past customers he has had for 30 years, don't stop by, we had the same problem when our son shane was hurt so bad in 1995, his friends mostly did not come by, to see him, as time went on,a few would come, but most did not,what is wrong with people?
I know what has happened in my family is that relatives don't want people to know, so we all end up knowing but "not allowed" to let the patient know we know.

I know with me, I feel it is a personal time and that maybe they don't want to be bothered. I will think differently next time I know someone sick. I just went through this with my boss's husband, she did not want us asking her how things were going or how she was doing unless she brought it up first.

Maybe you can some how let word out that he is lonely and could use some company.
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  #367 (permalink)  
Old 01-10-2013, 10:50 PM
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I know how you feel. My mother made it clear that she did not want a wake or a funeral but I use to have dreams that we did and how I would tell off supposed friends and family that came yet couldn't visit her while she was still alive. Thinking of you and your family every day!
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Old 01-10-2013, 11:17 PM
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Some people say they just cannot deal with people they have known and loved being sick. Maybe it reminds them that they too are mortal?
I try to understand their "discomfort"......but have a hard time because, truthfully it just seems so very selfish. Because, isn't it really all about "them" (oh, boo hoo, they feel "too uncomfortable" being around someone who is terminally ill or whose former abilities are diminished by a stroke or illness)
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Old 01-11-2013, 02:17 AM
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Thinking of you both XXOO
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:20 AM
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Keeping you both in our thoughts as well. Very sorry that you're experiencing the worst in people, when you need support.
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