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Now what? I can't image life without a Golden!

1K views 14 replies 11 participants last post by  iGirl 
#1 · (Edited)
We're still grieving over the loss of our sweet Phoebe yesterday, but also now looking forward to maybe someday soon filling the huge hole in our lives with a new family member - but there are some things we didn't consider which will make it even more difficult.

1. We're in the process of building a new house and moving there in 2 months - but there's something we didn't consider - no fenced yards allowed. (I hate Florida - we're here due to work relocation) We'll try to get an exemption, but I don't have much hope. Is it possible to even have a golden pup without a yard (on leash only?). Is it fair to them? Is it unhealthy? Many of the adoption sites have fenced yard requirements in fact... :-( Would it be cruel and selfish of us to even try without this?

2. The other checkbox we ran into is age - our age. We're both in our early 60s, healthy and active - but according to some that's near the cut off point for eligibility to adopt. I suppose it makes sense that the people need to live longer than the dog. But really? Don't older people deserve companionship too? One could argue that it's even more important since the nest is long empty and we're off on our own, alone.

These are setbacks. It's depressing. But we won't give up. Maybe we can find a 2-5 year old that someone can't take care of any more. We really would enjoy a pup again though to take some of the sting out of our loss, and to bond with them from an early age.

We're in Sarasota FL currently if anyone has a referral.
 
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#2 ·
I am so sorry for your loss of Phoebe. It's obvious you gave her a good home. If your heart is set on rescue, watch your local shelters. I follow Friends of Golden Retrievers on FB and it seems like once every week to week-and-a-half, there is a golden in need at a shelter somewhere in Florida. Many times they aren't puppies, but young adults. If you're active and able to take the dog out on leash I think it's fair. There are several folks on this forum who live in condos/apartments and make it happen.

If your heart is set on a puppy, you may want to reach out to breeders and tell them your story and how you will ensure the safety of the puppy. I know some won't be willing to let a puppy of their's go to a house without a fenced in yard. I don't necessarily agree with that. Having a fenced in yard doesn't mean you're watching the pup in the back.

Again, my condolences on your loss of Phoebe.
 
#3 · (Edited)
I am so sorry for you loss of Phoebe. I know how has hard it is as I lost my heart dog, Goldie, two years ago this month. They do leave a gigantic hole in your heart when they leave.
I want to let you know that there is hope.... I received Bailey, our now 2 year old golden, as a (surprise) birthday present from DH for my birthday in April 2 years ago. Without going into the gory details let's just say both DH and I are in our 60s.
Yes, our home has a fenced yard but our lake home (where we live 50% of our time now) does not. It would be virtually impossible le to fence the area as it is several acres much of it deep in the woods of northern MN. Yes, it did provide us with a bit more of a challenge training Bailey. With housebreaking he was on a short lead when we took him out anyway, so that was not really an issue and since we walk extensively while at the lake exercise was not really an issue. We don't walk ANY of our 3 dogs through the woods here if they aren't leashed...there are too many bears, wolves and coyotes to allow them to wander free when we walk.
Once Bailey was house trained the length of his lead when I took him into the yard increased dramatically. I probably looked quite foolish with a 20 foot lead attached to my waist but I didn't want him to run off on me. It was during that time we worked on recall as well as other commands. I am sure it would have been easier in my fenced yard at home but we didn't have a fence at the lake and you work with what you have.
So, 2 years later I have a trained golden. I still keep him on a leash as we walk through the woods, just as I do when I walk him at my home in the city. He knows he is allowed to run in the clearing around the house but he also knows that he is NOT allowed in the woods alone. He has never gone there. So, you can train without a fence. It just takes a different method.
I personally, do not consider myself an "old" person now that I am in my 60s. I do the same things I did in my 30s...and I probably do them better (practice, you know). We boomers are not like the generations before us where 60 was old. And I hate to see you buy into the idea that 60 is "too old" for a puppy. Goldens live about 10 years. Unless something catastrophic happens (and it could happen at any age) I fully intend to be bouncing around here raising holy h*** well into my 90s. Don't let age stop you in your pursuit of a golden. GO FOR IT!!!
 
#4 ·
I know you are missing Phoebe. I'm sorry- they do all leave us, unfortunately.
Yard fencing- I ask on my puppy inquiry questionnaire but I don't really care if there is a fence or not. I would rather a puppy person doesn't have one vs an electric underground one because those keep nothing out and to my mind are more dangerous to the puppy because there's a feeling that puppy is safe there when he really isn't. And people without fences tend to do more things with their dogs. They have to walk them several times a day, and that makes for a puppy that learns to walk on leash. Age> we're all aging! As long as you are in good health I can't imagine a breeder would care ....
 
#5 ·
My heart hurts for you. We know how you feel as we went through the same thing 4 years ago. At that time we were in our early 60s and couldn't imagine life without a fur buddy. We got Ginger as an 8 week old puppy. Although it'd been many years since we had a puppy, and we didn't remember how challenging the first 6-8 months could be, we all survived. Today at 4 years old, Ginger is a loving companion who adds joy to our lives each day. Blessings!
 

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#6 ·
My parents are in their 60's. We got a puppy knowing this would most likely be the last puppy. Although we may get Chloe a playmate which will be a adult in a year or so. If your in good health go for it. A puppy will keep you young and moving.

A fence is nice but as long as you have some place to take your dog to exercise I don't think it's neccesary. We will be without a fence for a little while at the new house. It's going to be a adjustment that's for sure.
 
#7 ·
Thanks for the replies so far! Very encouraging... I guess I was just getting put off my some of the things I was reading online - of course we can take good care of a puppy if that's what we decide. It's been a very long time but I do remember they're a lot of work and can be little mischievous devils for the first year or two! :) On leash is almost better here anyway due to snakes, gators and other dangers.

Oh I totally forgot - remembering this makes me feel better - There is a small "bark park" in the community where we're moving so we could let them run regularly, though I am a bit leery of these as they are usually filled with small dogs that tend to be mean biters. lol Anyway we'll start searching. We'll keep our hearts open to whatever comes along, I'm sure we'll know when we see them. Thanks again!
 
#8 ·
Yes, you can have a golden without having a fence. That is our situation. There are times when I would enjoy a fence, but we live on a wooded hillside. Every time we take our pup out, he is on a lead. We go on several walks each day. This has improved my fitness and my appreciation of the world outside my front door. This has strengthened my bond with my pup also.

There were breeders that would not place a pup with us because we had no fence. We started, in fact, with golden rescues but did not qualify for application because we do not have a fence. We found several breeders for whom the fence was not a deal breaker.

We do take our pup on frequent outings: to the lake, walking paths, to a fenced ball field, canoeing, woods walking for play and exercise. we are careful to clean up any mess and be good, responsible neighbors.

Living without a fence is very possible.

As for age, have a plan for who is to care for your dog and communicate it to loved ones. Having this plan in place before contacting a breeder will alleviate concern about the long-term care of your pet. You may also wish to consider an insurance policy for pet care that would see your dog through his life if you were unable to give the care yourself.

My pup is strong... I can control him, but my youngest son and my mother could not if he would take off while leashed. Can you? If not, an older, trained pup or dog may be worth consideration.
 
#9 ·
Another option is to consider another breed. I hear that cavalier King Charles spaniels have an attitude much like a golden, but in a smaller package. One of the marking options is even solid golden brown coloring.

I have friends who have a one eyed CKCS. While hiking on a train in Arkansas, it ran ahead of the children and protected them from a copperhead strike. That kind of family loyalty is worth consideration. Though it lost an eye to the snake, the family was unharmed.
 
#10 ·
Don't forget many rescues have Seniors for Seniors programs, where people 60+ can adopt older pets. It may be worth investigating - at least you won't be turned away for your age, and a dog who might get overlooked because of theirs will get the sort of home you gave Phoebe. A quick Google search suggests Orlando has a program like that, for instance.
 
#12 · (Edited)
My sympathy in the loss of your sweet girl Phoebe, the grief can be overwhelming and I admire your willingness to look at getting another Golden. It sounds like you are carefully considering potential issues, and here are my two cents worth.

I wouldn't worry about not having a fenced yard. For the first 3 years of my Rosie's life, we lived in a condo with a tiny yard, no fences allowed. So the two of us were out together very often and she was getting to meet lots of people and other dogs. She loved it. After moving in to a home with a fenced yard I will admit that I like the convenience of letting her out to do her business and run around without always having to be right there with her. But I'm still watching from the house and I know she likes it best when I am outside as well. But we still take lots of walks in the neighborhood and elsewhere, since that Golden Retriever nose is the happiest when it's got new places and scents to check out. She gets very excited when I leash her up for walks.

And as far as your age, 60's are the new 40's. I can say that since I'm in the same decade as you. A dog will help maintain your youth and you may have more time to devote to a pet now than you would have years ago.

Best of luck with your decision and maybe Miss Phoebe will help guide you.
 
#13 ·
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is the hardest part about having these wonderful dogs.

I have never had a yard, nevermind a fence, in nearly 17 years of raising two Goldens, both from puppies. If you are committed to making sure they get the exercise they need, it is entirely doable. I love taking my dog to the park, to walk in the woods, to swim, and to just walk in my neighbourhood. We do hunt and dock diving, both competitively. i actually think dogs with no yard get MORE exercise sometimes, because you HAVE to take them walking to the parks and play ball or something. In a yard, they won't necessarily get more exercise. Both of my breeders knew from the start that I had no yard - it was not an issue for either. I say, go for it!
 
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#14 ·
"These are setbacks. It's depressing. But we won't give up. Maybe we can find a 2-5 year old that someone can't take care of any more. We really would enjoy a pup again though to take some of the sting out of our loss, and to bond with them from an early age."

I wanted to comment on the bonding thing. Helo is my first rescue dog, all my other dogs I got as puppies because of the "bonding" issue. I have to say I have bonded just as strongly with Helo as any of my other (6) dogs! Yes, it totally surprised me, too. Helo was 4 or 5 when I got him 6 years ago and I am totally in love with him and he with me. So don't worry about that at all. :)
 
#15 ·
I wanted to comment on the bonding thing. Helo is my first rescue dog, all my other dogs I got as puppies because of the "bonding" issue. I have to say I have bonded just as strongly with Helo as any of my other (6) dogs! Yes, it totally surprised me, too. Helo was 4 or 5 when I got him 6 years ago and I am totally in love with him and he with me. So don't worry about that at all. :)
That's really encouraging thank you! Phoebe was so close to me - a velcro dog who slept literally on my head at night when she was a pup. I was worried about missing those formative years, but very happy to hear they can still bond with us beyond the puppy years. :) U‘ᴥ’U
 
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