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Goldens and Children.....thoughts?

3K views 20 replies 13 participants last post by  Chaya 
#1 ·
I've been keeping an eye on articles that teach me how to manage having dogs and children at the same time. With our baby due in August, I'm trying to figure out my "game plan" to keep everyone happy and well adjusted. I know the basics rules - never leave them unattended, dogs are still animals, etc.

Yesterday, I came across this training article that seemed to make a LOT of sense to me. It talks about how we shouldn't "magnitize" our babies to dogs to keep both the baby and the dog safe. However, being a golden owner, I've definitely had dreams of watching baby and my girls cuddling. It seems sad that if I follow the advice of this article, that I shouldn't let that happen for a few years.

I'd love to hear some of your feedback on this article, or your experience raising goldens with babies and toddlers. How realistic is this?? Thanks!

part 1: Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Get “Magnetized” to Dogs | Dogs and Babies

part 2: How to Not Magnetize Your Baby (Part 2) | Dogs and Babies

part 3: Helping Toddlers Not Be Magnetized to Dogs (Part 3) | Dogs and Babies

part4: Forsake Magnetization, Gain Harmony (Part 4) | Dogs and Babies
 
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#2 ·
I stopped reading with the first article.... :)

Common sense is your kids are not going to be running around somewhere without you right there and throwing yourself between that kid and danger. Even babies who are 1-2 years old can be taught not to go running up to strangers or strange dogs. Even while they are taught to love and trust their family members, family friends, and the family dogs.

If the kids have not been taught or haven't learned to be shy/cautious of strangers and strange dogs, then I'm looking at the parents and thinking they are careless and neglectful to let their kids run amuck.
 
#3 ·
Having lived through my own and now a bunch of grandchildren with goldens in the house, I'd say throw away the articles. There are a few common sense things to do to prepare. If your dogs are allowed freedom to leap on the beds, begin now to stop that behavior. You don't want a large dog inadvertently landing on your infant :) I say let the dogs lick the baby without French kissing the little one. Children exposed to some dirt and germs have less asthma and seem to build decent immune systems as a result. Don't let your crawling baby use the dogs as an obstacle course or a ladder. Each needs to respect the comfort and needs of the other. Otherwise, fire up your camera and take those pictures that will make all the relatives go "Awwww" and congratulations on your upcoming little human!
 
#4 ·
Dont force a relationship between the baby and the dogs. My Moose (now nine) was 3 when my grandson was rolling around and skirting around my house Moose was afraid of a small kamikaze redhead ball of energy so he kept his distance. My angel, who was 1 at the time loved him and he could roll over her, pull her tail and bite her tail and she would not do anything. Now that Wyatt is 7 he is a "cool" boy so he of course must pay more attention to a boy dog, so moose gets all his attention, which is fine because moose is not afraid of this bigger, slower redhead, but poor angel gets ignored. so i give her more attention!!!
Just watch and you will see how to handle this!!
beth, moose and angel
 
#5 ·
I think the articles are a little extreme. I have 3 kids, and my first child was born when I had two adult dogs (ages 7 and 3.5). We now have a golden puppy.

I would never encourage my kids to touch and approach strange dogs. That's just not prudent parenting in my opinion. With unknown dogs, we teach our kids that animals are mostly friendly but they are animals, and you must always first ask the owner, and then ask the dog (by extending a palm down hand slowly, waiting for the dog to approach and show signs that you are ok, etc..) for permission to touch and pet. And obviously people don't have their babies really close to other peoples dogs, allowing them to reach out and grab them.

With my own dogs, I never forced a relationship between my babies and dogs, by putting them next to each other or making the baby touch the dog, but I never restricted touching either, when I was there to supervise and the dog clearly enjoyed. I never told my kids NOT to touch the dog if the dog was enjoying it. It depends on the dog. My one dog often put himself right next to (or on top of) my infant; that's where he wanted to be. As he got older he would often sit right where they were playing and watch. My other dog liked my babies but didn't actively seek out their little hands; that was fine too. She was more into them when they became children, and spent hours playing fetch and following them around outside.

Now with our puppy and our toddler, we do make sure she knows she is not allowed to constantly be on the dog and bugging her, and we don't make the dog and kids hang out, but we don't discourage contact. Our puppy seems to like my 2 year old the best, and often seeks her out to lay on her and try to get her to play by licking her and nipping her feet. So often Molly is more into Leah than Leah is into Molly, and its more often the dog we have to redirect when she gets a little too enthusiastic in her love:). Here are a few pics of my dog and my first child:

Dog Vertebrate Canidae Mammal Dog breed

Bigsby always positioned himself close to the action, so much so that I have pictures of him with spit up of his head:).

Child Canidae Dog breed Toddler Guard dog

Tummy time

Canidae Leg Sporting Group Dog breed Fawn

Ellie practicing crawling

Canidae Dog Sporting Group Carnivore Weimaraner

As he got older Biggie often served as a hill or parking spot for trains.

Lap

Here he is with my aunt and my second child when he was a newborn.

Clearly this was a dog who enjoyed contact with kids. I never would have forced him or encouraged him to be next to my babies, but if the dog wants the touch/attention, I don't see a problem. As babies get to be toddlers, they do need to be taught not to smother the dog. Toddlers don't pick up on cues that the dog has had enough play time, so that needs supervision.

Good luck,

Heather
 
#13 ·
I think the articles are a little extreme. I have 3 kids, and my first child was born when I had two adult dogs (ages 7 and 3.5). We now have a golden puppy.

I would never encourage my kids to touch and approach strange dogs. That's just not prudent parenting in my opinion. With unknown dogs, we teach our kids that animals are mostly friendly but they are animals, and you must always first ask the owner, and then ask the dog (by extending a palm down hand slowly, waiting for the dog to approach and show signs that you are ok, etc..) for permission to touch and pet. And obviously people don't have their babies really close to other peoples dogs, allowing them to reach out and grab them.

With my own dogs, I never forced a relationship between my babies and dogs, by putting them next to each other or making the baby touch the dog, but I never restricted touching either, when I was there to supervise and the dog clearly enjoyed. I never told my kids NOT to touch the dog if the dog was enjoying it. It depends on the dog. My one dog often put himself right next to (or on top of) my infant; that's where he wanted to be. As he got older he would often sit right where they were playing and watch. My other dog liked my babies but didn't actively seek out their little hands; that was fine too. She was more into them when they became children, and spent hours playing fetch and following them around outside.

Now with our puppy and our toddler, we do make sure she knows she is not allowed to constantly be on the dog and bugging her, and we don't make the dog and kids hang out, but we don't discourage contact. Our puppy seems to like my 2 year old the best, and often seeks her out to lay on her and try to get her to play by licking her and nipping her feet. So often Molly is more into Leah than Leah is into Molly, and its more often the dog we have to redirect when she gets a little too enthusiastic in her love:). Here are a few pics of my dog and my first child:

View attachment 354338
Bigsby always positioned himself close to the action, so much so that I have pictures of him with spit up of his head:).

View attachment 354346
Tummy time

View attachment 354354
Ellie practicing crawling

View attachment 354362
As he got older Biggie often served as a hill or parking spot for trains.

View attachment 354370
Here he is with my aunt and my second child when he was a newborn.

Clearly this was a dog who enjoyed contact with kids. I never would have forced him or encouraged him to be next to my babies, but if the dog wants the touch/attention, I don't see a problem. As babies get to be toddlers, they do need to be taught not to smother the dog. Toddlers don't pick up on cues that the dog has had enough play time, so that needs supervision.

Good luck,

Heather
Heather, it sounds like this is a great way to manage your dogs and children. I love the last picture! So sweet.
 
#7 ·
I'll tell you.... we don't have any kids but I think keeping them apart too much is counterproductive to learning for the kids...

We had a 4 year old come over who had never been around dogs, ever. Well In my house since we don't have kids and have such friendly dogs, escape isn't an option. Plus we had two parents there and one child, should go smoothly right? Roxy took 1.5 hours of being pulled on, picked up, etc just fine then she tried to go to her crate where he followed her (she was OK with that until he began yelling in it) and she tried to walk out and he began SLAMMING her head in the crate door. (Trying to get her to stay inside) she got out.. later he tried to grab her from behind and she growled. Good girl Roxy.
This is all dinner time me warning the parents, removing the child, getting onto the child myself, and finally me telling the parents to take him home to go to bed or something.

But the point.... When I was younger I was always around animals and taught how to behave with them, I would have never done that >. < even if I was too young to know my parents monitored me around animals. So I think interaction and teaching can happen really young and be very good for both dog and baby

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#8 ·
One thing I do know is what really happens with kids is the opposite of what was expected lol. You know the basics of children/dog interaction. Follow those rules and let a relationship naturally develop between the goldens and baby. I was surprised at how strong the bond was my first time around. I currently have a toddler and 5 month old golden. They are so connected. Dog Mammal Vertebrate Dog breed Canidae
Dog Mammal Vertebrate Dog breed Canidae

My Thor is connected to all of my children. Follow the rules and watch love blossom ❤ congratulations, again on your baby :) I have baby fever lol


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#12 ·
One thing I do know is what really happens with kids is the opposite of what was expected lol. You know the basics of children/dog interaction. Follow those rules and let a relationship naturally develop between the goldens and baby. I was surprised at how strong the bond was my first time around. I currently have a toddler and 5 month old golden. They are so connected. View attachment 354858 View attachment 354866
My Thor is connected to all of my children. Follow the rules and watch love blossom ❤ congratulations, again on your baby :) I have baby fever lol


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Oh my gosh your babies are so precious!! All I can ask for is that sort of bond!
 
#9 ·
It is about respect. The dog needs to respect the child and the child needs to respect the dog. It takes patience and commitment on your part. Our first grandchild was born when Sage was 8 mos old. Liam is now almost 8 mos old...crawling, using a walker etc. We have used babygates and a pack n play when we couldnt supervise or just didnt feel like letting them have interaction. Now with Liam crawling we have to be even more vigilant. From day one I let Sage sniff, gently lick and be involved if I was able to have my full attention on the situation. Sage was taught to be gentle with him and at 8 mos we have been teaching Liam to be gentle with Sage. They looooove each other. When Liam is playing on the floor Sage will get down on her belly and army crawl with him till she gets in front of him...then she rolls on her side and gives him kisses. Liam can lay with his head on her and she rests her paw on him. Mind you an adult is always right there...baby and dog are never left without an adult right there...Sage also brings him toys....her kong wubba mostly. Liam will grab a tenticle and Sage will ever so gently grab another and with him she will lay down and gently tug....she doesnt even move him....he laughs so hard when they do this. There are times when Sage gets a bit rowdy...such as using a paw a bit more than she should but again we are right there and stop her....or Liam wants to pull fur ears etc....we end play in both situations. If Sage is napping on the couch Liam isnt allowed to bug her.....
I think my favorite thing with these two is the genuine affection they are developing for each other....When Liam has a bottle Sage lays at my feet or if I am on the couch she will come up and lay next to us. She follows us into the bedroom and lays by the crib when Liam naps.....lets me know when he wakes up etc if Liam is in his walker Sage isnt to far behind him....Liam looks for Sage and talks to her...he giggles when I am carrying him and bends over my arm to make sure she is with us.
Since Liam isnt with us 24/7 it is easier to make sure their interactions have been positive...but I have raised multiple puppies with my children...our youngest was just a year when we got our first dog....I learned quickly that puppies and small children are unpredictable....thankfully Bear was a great puppy..
The hardest time for Sage to be around Liam is when DH gets home from work....Sage gets excited to see him....I have DH make sure he lets me know when he gets home and I make sure Liam is either on my lap or in his pack and play because Sage gets the zoomies and in that mode I wouldnt even chance Liam getting stepped on etc.
It hasn't always been perfect but with management we have not had any major instances...
As for Hawk our foster....he was in a home with two little ones. I think they were allowed to do whatever they wanted to him. If he sees Liam headed his way he gets up and moves....he will give Liam a kiss or allow Liam to pet him...well its us taking Liam's hand and stroking his fur....but he knows the drill and we respect that and have given Hawk a safe area where he can rest if he so chooses....he will actually put himself there now and we take that as his cue that he wants to be left in peace. ..I do not think he would ever hurt Liam but I believe its better to respect his wishes than test the waters...

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#10 ·
When my kids were babies we didn't have our own dog but we spent a lot of time with my sister's dog Laika who was a great dog. They learned very quickly to be kind and respectful to the dog even though she was infinitely patient, and they loved her. Then when they were 3 and 5 we got our own dog Drac and that was instant love and devotion both ways.
When I was in college I lived with an awesome family who had a Golden Retriever named Taran. He was the first golden I met and the reason I always wanted one. He grew up with their son from puppyhood. Again, his parents had taught him to treat the dog gently and he was great with him, they were best buddies. Needless to say, in all of these cases careful supervision was exercised, and both children and dogs were managed kindly and consistently and everyone learned. My kids are now young adults and while they haven't always been perfect kids by any means ( specifically my boy), one thing everyone who meets them knows about them is that they are empathetic people, respectful of all life and tuned into the needs of others. I think the great bond they had with the dogs in their lives played a huge part in developing that.


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#15 ·
I think the best tool for us is baby gates and having separate areas for puppy and toddler! Now we have a different situation because we have a 21 month old and a puppy... So it's a little bit different... Both are learning boundaries. The only other thing I might add is that your dog might get jealous of the new baby... I know our son is Jealous of the new puppy- so I had to make sure to spend some extra time loving on my son and playing with him. But after a month we've settled into a routine. Also I would have daddy take home a piece of worn clothing (one of the little long sleeve shirts the baby wears in the hospital) and bring it home for the dog to smell before you bring the baby home. At least that's what I heard you should do :) Good luck!!! Babies are amazing and so much fun! Honestly everyone just told us how much work and how we wouldn't sleep- but no one mentioned how much fun kids are :) I'm kind of sad I won't have the experience of our "first" child again... It's really so special! Congratulations!
 
#18 ·
Aww it sounds like you really have your hands full! Puppies are really like having another toddler around the house. I think baby gates, xpens, and crates are great management tools for dogs and kids. My youngest dog, Laika, will be almost 2 years old by the time the baby is born so hopefully she will be pretty settled by then!
 
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