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The tests were wrong. I can't even say it.
I have been crying for eight hours. Just when I think I am cried out, it starts again. I couldn't even come here and write about it until now.
I found out today that the large mass under Tee's leg was not benign. Even as I write it, I just can't believe it. The needle aspiration was wrong. I can't understand it or believe it. The histology, the test of pieces of the actual mass itself, is completely different. And because the prelim test was wrong, the mass was not removed with full margins, so Tesia needs to have more surgery.
Has this ever happened to anyone? The needle aspiration conclusion was a benign cystic follicular tumour. The histology says the differentials are malignant lymphoma or amelanomic melanoma. None of it makes sense. She has no swelling in her lymph nodes whatsoever. No symptoms of illness at all. She has blood tests every six months which have been normal save for a slightly elevated urea level. The last one was just three months ago. And she had full blood work the morning of the surgery. And melanoma? The tumour was not a skin tumour - it was growing outside her abdomen. I just don't get it. The histology suggests the tumour was full of cancer cells. But my vet took lots of cells from all different parts of the mass for the needle aspiration because it was so big. None of the cells suggested there was cancer. The day before the surgery, she was running hard and fast playing ball. She is the picture of health. And she is eating just fine now - the vet told me Tramadol is very bitter. As soon as I took it out of her food - she gobbled it all up. I got all her antibiotics into her (she's on two now) in pieces of hotdog bun - which she also hoovered.
So how can this be?
We go back to my vet tomorrow. She was going to try to speak to both pathologists who did the tests and try to make sense of it. She is as baffled and stunned as I am. I can't stop thinking, hoping, that the samples were mixed up. That these test results are not really Tesia's. My vet has already ordered up the tests which will determine if it is T-cell or B-cell lymphoma or melanoma. Those results will take 7 to 14 business days. I need to make an appointment to see an oncologist - my vet said I should do that sooner than later. I think that's when I started to sob again.
I am just devastated. This dog is my heart. This photo is days before the surgery. It just makes no sense.