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Old 12-04-2012, 06:47 PM
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Who trains in your household?

We have a two-person household, and we're trying to figure out the best training techniques and tricks, etc. The biggest roadblock we're running into is that my DH and I have two different training philosophies and at the moment I do 95% of the training at home, but when we go to class, my DH gets all fussy if he doesn't get to train Bear at class. I'm totally confused because what's the point of trying to train the puppy at class for an hour, if your not going to follow up on it at home?

I realize, we're experiencing a break-down in communications between me and my DH and we're working on fixing that. I guess, my question is, if we cannot agree on a cohesive training style, signals, words, etc... should one person be the only trainer?

An example, I taught Bear "off" meant "get off me, get off the couch, etc" but when he's on the couch, my DH will say "down" then get irritated when Bear lays down on the couch.

I feel like a failure, cause come on, we're adults, we should be able to get our $tuff in gear and move forward as a unit, but all we're doing is confusing the puppy when we try to train together. When I train by myself, Bear is an angel and attentive and we make great strides. But then my DH comes home and all the work goes out the window.

I'm trying to empathize with my DH, who gets annoyed and frustrated b/c the puppy "doesn't listen to him."

His biggest complaints are "he won't walk nicely" or "he won't get in the car" or "he won't fetch" and they all end with "like he does with you."

I told him he has to work with Bear more frequently and be presistant, cause it's not like the puppy was born thinking "hey, I'm going to obey that funny acting female," it took alot of time and patience on my end and I STILL think my pup is a little brat.
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Last edited by Brave; 12-04-2012 at 06:48 PM. Reason: *typo in title
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:58 PM
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I had to smile reading your post, do you have cameras in my house?? It's been just like that here...for years! I worried about it in the beginning too but with each dog they have always figured it out.
Mommy teaches and makes them mind, daddy plays and pretends to make them mind. Mommy uses words they understand, daddy makes up words.
I wouldn't worry about it as long as you remain in charge in Bear's mind you'll be OK. My DH doesn't 'tell' a dog to sit he 'asks' ie: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt???????????
Dogs are smart and they figure these things out.
There's too many other stresses in a marriage to add dog training to. Have fun and let DH think he's training Bear
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:01 PM
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I am Molly's trainer. My bf goes to all of our classes and will take notes because sometimes I will miss something when I am working with Molly. We established that I am Molly's handler 100% before she came home. I am training for competition so it is important that the training is consistent so she doesn't get confused. Even differences in voice and tone when saying a command, marking a behavior, and praise can confuse a pup.

My bf also had a harder time with Molly as a young pup because she wouldn't listen to him. She grew out of that and is great with both of us now and he does NO training with her. She will behave and listen to him the way she listens to me. I think the real problem was my bf always wrestling and rough housing with her. She probably thought he was a dog.


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Old 12-04-2012, 07:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bentleysmom View Post
I had to smile reading your post, do you have cameras in my house?? It's been just like that here...for years! I worried about it in the beginning too but with each dog they have always figured it out.
Mommy teaches and makes them mind, daddy plays and pretends to make them mind. Mommy uses words they understand, daddy makes up words.
I wouldn't worry about it as long as you remain in charge in Bear's mind you'll be OK. My DH doesn't 'tell' a dog to sit he 'asks' ie: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt???????????
Dogs are smart and they figure these things out.
There's too many other stresses in a marriage to add dog training to. Have fun and let DH think he's training Bear
LOL! Thank you so much! I have been stressing so much over this, and b/c we're child-less (but want children in the future), I over-analyze it and question if we should EVEN HAVE children if we can't even train a dog together.

My GF has been telling me to let my DH do things his way, even though I KNOW my way is faster and easier b/c she says if I take control too much, he'll get tired of it and leave. And he eventually does things, but they take forever for him to do. With Bear, there is a higher risk, b/c if I teach him xyz means put your bottom on the ground and he does behind me and teaches him zxy means put your bottom on the ground, then we'll get a dog that goes through the motions (hooman speakz! I *sits* *lays down* *shakes* *rolls over* *comes* *sit* so on and so forth "Iz rite?")

I'll try to beat out a command list so at least we use the same hand signals and words.
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:13 PM
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That's the secret right there! I made DH learn the hand signals (I told him a dog doesn't understand without hand signals LOL) so no matter what word he uses the dog understands sssshhhhh
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vhuynh2 View Post
I think the real problem was my bf always wrestling and rough housing with her. She probably thought he was a dog.
Do YOU have cameras in my house? This is what my DH does and he does it at night, right before *HE* gets to go to bed so I'm left with a wound up puppy who is over excited and nippy.

I've asked my DH to exercise Bear for an hour as soon as he gets home and again right before I get home (since I work major OT, at the moment, and don't get home until late) but I'm beginning to suspect my DH comes home and plays computer games until I get home.

My first question, after "Honey, I'm home *kiss kiss* How was your day?" is "did you take Bear for a walk?" "Uh no. We wrestled."

When I get home, I take Bear out back and he runs around like someone stuffed a rocket up his bum for about 30-40 mins. My DH finds this "boring" but it lets my weary mind rest and his HYPER body run so it's a win-win for me. I'll even run around and let Bear chase me and we'll play tag (though he's starting to tag me with his teeth. ) then we'll come back inside and he'll get a chewie and I'll relax on the couch until bed time.
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:22 PM
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That's the secret right there! I made DH learn the hand signals (I told him a dog doesn't understand without hand signals LOL) so no matter what word he uses the dog understands sssshhhhh
When I showed DH my hand signal for sit, he was like "this makes no sense! I'm not doing that? How does that say sit? That says up! You're wrong! There has got to be a better hand signal for sit."

I listened to him for 30 mins, tried to explain the logic behind it; then the trainer comes in and shows him the same hand signal I've been using for weeks and he's all like, "Oh, that makes so much sense! I'm totally using that signal."

I love you, DH, but sometimes... *shakes fists* You're so lucky your cuter than the puppy.
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:38 PM
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My Summer has me well trained.

Dinner time? yes dear.

Cookie time? yes dear.

You want to bring you for a ride? yes dear.

You need more room on the bed? Ok I'll move over.
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:58 PM
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Soon after we brought the puppy home, my husband and I made a list of all the commands our dog might ever learn and agreed on the words we'd use. Some of them, like "Heel", "Front", "Come", etc. are "reserved words" for formal obedience. No one is allowed to use/train those words except me. We have the list on the ipad.

Problem is, the dog can't read.
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Old 12-04-2012, 08:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bentleysmom View Post
That's the secret right there! I made DH learn the hand signals (I told him a dog doesn't understand without hand signals LOL) so no matter what word he uses the dog understands sssshhhhh
Ok this made me laugh out loud!

Brave:
I live by myself but my BF at the time use to come over and get frustrated when the puppy didnt listen to him. At times I felt like I was training two of them... Once chloe reached a level in her training she started to accept commands from other ppl too. I wouldnt worry to much, just hang in there and enjoy the ride

ps at our training school they say that the person who holds the most "power" at home should attend the classes and work with the dog. Then once the dog is trained you train the rest of the house lol
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