It's so hard to ride the emotional roller coaster with our geriatric dogs, isn't it? I know there are several of us there right now, my Toby being one of them.
They have a couple of good days in a row, and we are so encouraged. We feel good all over, and hopeful that they're really and truly doing okay.
Then they have a couple of bad days. We fret. We worry about whether or not it's almost *time*. We worry about their quality of life.
We go online and research to be sure we're doing absolutely everything we can do. We grasp at straws; we spend a small fortune taking them to every vet, chiropractor, nutritionist, specialist, and accupuncturist we can find.
We buy them harnesses and build them carts. We try to make them happy and comfortable. We cook them special food, whatever they'll eat. We give them supplements and drugs and vitamins.
Then they have a couple of good days again, and we are hopeful that whatever we are doing is making a difference. We ride the roller coaster up into happiness.
Something changes. It could be something small, like just a little loose poop, or one minor coughing spell. We worry like crazy that it's the beginning of "the end"; that it's something *major*, not just the normal doggy stuff that all dogs do.
So we ride the roller coaster back down into despair again.
And so it goes. It's emotionally very, very draining to live with these geriatric guys, but I treasure each and every day that I have left with my Toby.

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Gibson's Golden Girl, CD, CGC, TDI (born 3-20-1997), a.k.a. "Tiny"

CH Rosewood Little Giant, UDX VER RA JH OAP NJP VCX WC CCA CGC FFX-OG (born 3-10-2007), also U-CH U-UD U-JJ U-RO1 U-HIT a.k.a. "Tito" (the Tito Monster) www.GoTeamTito.com

and my heart dog
Gibson's Golden Guy, CD, CGC, TDI ( 01-31-1998 - 01-02-2012) a.k.a. "Toby", "HRH"

I hear you...so clearly. When Taya was sick, this was exactly our lives. In the end, I would give anything more to have her still. When it was the end, one of the hardest things was to stop trying things. I got a little crazy at the end thinking there must be something else I could do. And of course there wasn't.

So I understand. Toby is still with you and I think you have had him longer than we had Taya. Didn't Toby have a splenectomy? Taya had one good year afterwards...

But what else is there to do. We all have had this experience, haven't we. And all we can do is help one another along. Recognize that we all hurt... and send prayers and energy to our friends when we can.

Which is exactly what I am doing for you right now...hang in there. You are a good momma... (((Hugs))))....peace...

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thanks!
Yes, Toby had a splenectomy over 4 years ago. Some of his current problems (chronic demodex mange) relate to that.
But he's a big golden, thin but tall, so he's having lots of problems with his back end. It's so sad to see.

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Gibson's Golden Girl, CD, CGC, TDI (born 3-20-1997), a.k.a. "Tiny"

CH Rosewood Little Giant, UDX VER RA JH OAP NJP VCX WC CCA CGC FFX-OG (born 3-10-2007), also U-CH U-UD U-JJ U-RO1 U-HIT a.k.a. "Tito" (the Tito Monster) www.GoTeamTito.com

and my heart dog
Gibson's Golden Guy, CD, CGC, TDI ( 01-31-1998 - 01-02-2012) a.k.a. "Toby", "HRH"

I so relate. I was there with my previous three goldens who lived to be 12, 14, and 12. After that, we tried to prevent whatever went wrong with the previous dogs. I became an expert on hemangio, hypothyroid, seizures, megaesophagus. I thought this time we had good genetics with long life spans. I now have Gunner (7) with GRPU, cataracts and hypothyroid (caught early due to hypervigilence).
Then at 11, Selka got bone cancer. Now I feel like a crazy woman, happy one minute from him rolling in the grass to getting nauseated when he almost falls.
We are doing all we can do to keep him as pain free as possible. I researched and found an IV infusion that relieves pain, builds bone and kills cancer cells. He is also getting laser treatments, supplements a plenty and pain meds. He is happy today and rolling in the grass.
But because Selka has terminal cancer there will be a limit. I will not take away his dignity or his quality of life. When he doesn't eat, can't get up/walk at all, or has no glint in his eye then it will be time. I will not let my beloved boy suffer.

I should add that with Max, our boy who had back end issues , I worried about how we would know when it was time. To What lengths would we go to? Well, it ended up what took his life was something I would never have expected (let alone heard of ) back then. You just never know. That's why my new motto is One Day at a Time.

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Sasha, Gunner,
& Angel Selka in Heaven

Love You Always
Max, Sophie and Shammy

Very well said, like you read my mind, thank you for posting that.

Been through it with my first and I have been going through it again for some time with my guy Tucker. His quality of life is of utmost importance to me.

I have indeed gone blurry eyed at the computer trying to research everything I can, spent a fortune with the best care, tried a whole lot of supplements, Made a elbow guard for his bone spurs, bought a cool bed to keep him comfortable, and a wagon to get him back to his favorite places.

Had a talk with my vet 3 weeks ago and he mentioned (and don't take this the wrong way) how he thought he almost bought it with the gastro issues caused by Deramaxx. I had to "remind" him that he almost bought it a year ago when his lungs collapsed in middle of nowhere Maine and he survived. Then he came up lame this January and we thought it could be bone cancer. Then the nose bleeds.

My guy must be part cat because he has used up 4 lives already. Currently going through more issues (maybe nasal cancer that spread to the lungs) and the UTI problem, but like you said "worry like crazy that it's the beginning of *the end*". I continue to enjoy the moments and do my best to deal with the ups & downs, because it is a whole lot better than the roller coaster ride coming to a stop. But boy, it is tough.

A long time ago my dad (RIP) said to me shortly after I rescued Deardra "boy you get awfully attached to them you know". I nodded my head and agreed, but little did I know at the time how attached one could get.

I wish you and your Toby (and Tiny) the best.

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You do get attached to them, that is for sure!

I relate so much to this thread. Hotel, thanks for posting your thoughts. I'm finding myself, in the aftermath of losing Barkley at age 12 yrs 11 months, starting to focus on Toby with a "senior dog" attitude even though he is not quite 7 years old and even though he acts like a mischievous puppy most of the time. I already placed him on twice-yearly veterinary exams and I'm trying to keep him as healthy as possible for as long as possible. It appears we are going to have some cardiac issues with him, along with his continuing eye/cataract issues, but that's okay...the longer he is with us, happy and causing trouble, the better.

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Awww I know how you feel... it is so hard some days! Wolfie and Aiyana were old together kind of. Wolfie was long lived at 15 1/2...Aiyana was almost 11 when we lost Wolfie. I had jokingly named my new van at the time "the geriatric dog mobile" , it was mainly used to transport dogs back and forth to the Vet LOL. We lost Aiyana to the same nasty disease as Wolfie just 20 months later.

Now I am going through the geriatric thing with Dream, there are some really good days, and some really bad days. She will be 13 in a couple of weeks, and I so admire her strength and courage, she has been through a lot in her almost 13 years. She still wants to trudge up those stairs to her bed every night...she needs help, but insists on going. There are days she plays like a pup, and still chases Layla to mount her occasionally so she knows SHE is the alpha LOL. The next day she is limping horribly and needs two tramadol. She is a Lab, and like a Golden that tail is wagging, she is smiling, happy, and keeps going...despite her ailments. Dream lives to eat...if she turns down food, I know she is not feeling so great - thankfully that is a very rare occasion with her.

I am enjoying my days with her to the fullest, even though she is a sofa hog....Some days she really frightens me, the next day she is Dream again. I complained to my family the other night about sleeping in "Dream divets" in the sofa...and then I thought, one day being in that "Dream Divet" is going to be very comforting to me.

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Mom to: Hurley-Siberian Husky
Layla (Peanut)-Golden
Cally (Squirt)-Yellow Lab

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."
~ Unknown

At the Bridge: Dream, Aiyana, Wolfie and Gwen

With a 9, almost 12 and a 15 year old, we ride that roller coaster daily. We especially worry about Reilly, our soon to be 12 year old and cancer survivor (now about 16 months since diagnosis). Every little cough, sneeze or ANYTHING, we panic and run him to the vet. It's hard, it's exhausting most days and some days we wonder, "what were we thinking?" But everyday we are rewarded by golden kisses and loving looks with those big brown eyes! And it's all worth it.

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Dogmom to Reilly (12 - our 1 year cancer survivor), Bianca - our 9 year old rescue and Helen, the orange kitty who thinks she's a GR
Doggie Grandma to Jameson, our precious 1 year old boy
Also Dogmom to Casey, Cobey, Snuggles and Cayman - now at the Rainbow Bridge, but forever in our hearts

It actually scares me that I know how you feel. And I'm sorry you're going through it.

My girl is *only* almost 10 (Sept 21st), but I already find myself paying such attention to every little thing. I find myself thinking, she's slower today, she seems so tired, her limp is getting worse. It scares me to death to even think for a moment that something could be wrong. Then there's a day like today: I took her to the park, and she was skipping! She made it around three times and didn't want to leave! She found a ball right at the end, and still had energy to play! I realize she hasn't been stiff and achy in more than a week - the Sashas Blend is working!! And it was SUCH a hot and humid summer - it was probably the heat affecting her - today was cool and she was back to her bouncy self.

Argh. I know that roller coaster. And I am so happy I have found this place because I know the wonderful support that exists here. I know I will need it one day. I hope not for a really long time. But we're here for you.

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"Joy and loyalty wrapped in sunshine."
The Laughing Dog Press

That's how we felt with our old guys... they become so sweet when they get that old. And ours both lived to be 13. With our Danny we knew he didn't have much time left after we lost his brother, and every day I spent a good portion of my free time with him, doing things that he enjoyed doing. Like sitting around with his head in my lap.

Our guys both had bad joints in their last couple years, and they needed help climbing stairs. But I know it really wasn't as bad as what other old dog owners go through.

One of my neighbors recently had their golden put to sleep. She was almost 17 and reached a point where she was perfectly healthy and had no other issues except she could not walk. Their last year they were putting her on a makeshift stretcher just to get her outside for potty. Speaking to the husband, he wished they'd let her go sooner and he described that helpless look on her face when she wanted to get around but couldn't.

I both hope for and dread getting to that point with my dogs.