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I miss my Buddy

149K views 933 replies 162 participants last post by  SteveRuffin 
#1 ·
I visit this site very often but this is the first time I want to say something. I want to put together some words for my Buddy, my beautiful golden retriever, my boy I lost 5 weeks ago. These are the hardest days in my life.
It all started nine and half years ago. I did not want to have a dog in my house, did not know very much about dogs, mostly have been scared of big ones. But my ten years old daughter at that time, big animal lover, wanted a dog and she wanted golden retriever. My husband did not listen to me and they brought Buddy in my life. And next to my daughter it was the best thing ever happened to me, although I did not know that then. Slowly with days passing by Buddy became my dog. When I cooked he was next to me waiting for his share of veggies, when I vacuumed he would laid down on the vacuum hose, when I sat he had his head on my lap, when I cried he would pet me with his paw, at night he would sleep on the floor next to the bed on my side, in morning he would wake my up as it is food time, when I leave at work he would be at door to get his "see you later Bud" threat, when I came back he would wait for me with his nose stick in the closet with our shoes. And then after nine and half years after tough battle with terminal illness for a couple months I lost my Bud on May 15th. I lost the best friend I ever had, lost someone to talk with, someone to walk with, someone to hug with... My heart is just broken, can't stop crying, my life is frozen in a time. I still see him everywhere, can feel softness of his coat under my hand, his happy face and the tail waging at time to go for walk, his touch with his big paw was so gentle. And pain is unbearable. I read your stories and cry with you as your pain is my pain now.
I love you Buddy.
 
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#192 ·
Buddy's mom, We can all feel the love you have for Buddy. These Goldens just enrich our lives in so many ways, and yes, they do indeed teach us lessons in love, loyalty, compassion, and the will to keep going. I think we all have such admiration for these wonderful animals, we are truly blessed that they shared our lives. Though most of us will never meet in person, I do believe we'll meet on the "other side", with our beautiful fur babies leading the way. Loving thoughts sent to you and Buddy today!
 
#193 ·
What a great picture. The love oozes from the screen. Buddy's running at the Bridge, having a wonderful time. He wants you to be happy

MESSAGE FROM A DOG

I wanted to help you out, so I checked your messages for you.
There was one.
It was from a dog.
Who said "Tell her I'm on the way, but I don't know when I'll arrive."
Didn't leave a name - said you haven't whispered it yet.
It said, "Tell her Buddy sent me. She'll know what I mean."
And I bet you will.
 
#196 ·
I was just going to head out to take Reno for a walk but thought I better catch up on this thread first.....oh gosh...now I'm taking Reno out with tears streaming down my face.

What a beautiful tribute to your handsome Buddy. And a wonderful picture of a boy and his mommy!

Reno would like to give you a very special hug today!!
 
#197 ·
Thanks to all of you for your posts to this and the other thread, for visitors messages and PMs. I am very grateful for your understanding and support. I am still very emotional of what happened a year ago. Today I am having very hard moments, sadness mixed with feeling of proud that he is my Buddy and I am his mom.
My dearest Buddy sent me the sign this morning that he is with me today. I still have his nose prints on the bay window in the living room. I have 7 pots of African violets, my favorite pot plants and one of the pots is at bay window where my Buddy used to rest his head. I watered them every Sunday like I did this last Sunday. My Buddy would be always with me at that time, helping on his own way. This morning I wanted to look at his nose prints on the window glass and to my surprise there are two beautiful flowers there, standing tall. There were not there on Sunday. I rushed to check the other pots, no flowers there just in this one pot. My boy sent me these two flowers to tell me he is thinking of me today.
Thank you my Buddy for your present.
 
#199 ·
That is so sweet and touching. I would never clean those nose prints off. The flowers were definitely from sweet Buddy.

I know you're hurting, but I pray that you continue to heal and remember all the happy times. I lost my childhood golden, Jewel almost 9 years ago, and it does get better. You will always miss Buddy,but one day you will be able to think of him with only happiness that he chose you, and that you were blessed with such an amazing friend.

God bless you and Buddy!
 
#198 ·
My boy sent me these two flowers to tell me he is thinking of me today.
I'll bet he did. :)
 
#202 ·
When we lose our heart,and soul dog, it is very hard, many lows, on this journey we are forced to take, i speak to you .as one who knows,i lost spencer,just over two years ago, the best thing for you,and your family would be to go and get another golden to love you,and for you to love, beleive me please,a pup will help to heal your heart, look how much you love buddy, isn't there enough love in your heart to love another, i know there is from your post,buddy would want that for you.
 
#203 ·
Dogs just chose who they love the most adn who is their very special friend.

I'm glad Buddy sent you signs to remind you of his love. I pray you find peace and new love in your life. It is truly the only way to fill the hole they leave behind. A little piece is always missing because they take it with them, but they also leave a great big piece of their heart with us to help us cope.

I joined the forum in a panic over Copper being diagnosed with splenic tumors. Copper's Mom was and is a wonderful name for me. Hugs from one "Mom" missing her boy to another.
 
#208 ·
Your beautiful Buddy got his message across by sending you those flowers. He loves you and wants you to be happy. This first anniversary will be the hardest; the sharpness of your pain will dull a bit with each passing year until there are more smiles than tears in your remembrance. He will always hold your heart, but I think there is room in your heart to love another furry friend.
 
#210 ·
Hello "Buddy's mom forever"

I'm so sorry I missed this post. Just wanted to tell you through my streaming tears, how moving was your tribute to Buddy.

The picture oozes the love you both shared for each other. Like many others have posted, I hope your memories of Buddy flow freely and give you comfort. It is also so true that in your obvious grief you give of yourself to others, including myself who are deeply grieving. How wonderful that the love you and Buddy shared, has given you this compassion for others.
Whether or not the time will come for you to give some of your immeasurable love to another golden only you will know, but I wish you love & peace.
 
#212 ·
From the moment I lost you

Today is a year and two weeks from the moment I lost you. I live some different life. I do not go out very much. The house is my safety zone, I feel like it is your house too. I cant go places where we used to go together, it is still very painful. I cant go new places it is like erasing you from my life. I love life but I appreciate it on new way. I smile more but laugh less. My heart is more mellow and hurts easier. I read a lot searching for the answers. I still miss you and think of you every day. Sometimes I find the poems and quotes that deeply touch me, like this one.

There is only one world,
the world pressing against you at this minute.
There is only one minute in which you are alive,
this minute here and now.
The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.

Storm Jameson, Novelist, 1891-1986


My dearest Buddy,
Love you and miss forever.
Your mom
 
#213 ·
I'm sorry for your loss. I noticed you had replyed about Dozer, and that Buddy was showing him around and being his brother. That line gave me such a great comfort knowing that another well loved pet was showing around my Dozey-bear as I called him. I am still feeling the pain and crying a lot, I just wanted to let you know that you also are in my thoughts and that your Buddy is being just that, a wonderful buddy to another, and he can't wait to see you again! God bless you in every way!
 
#214 ·
I am sorry that you Buddy's mom forever and Flickbix are hurting so much!
My pain has eased and I try to think of the beautiful memories I had with my two previous golden boys. Dark memories will creep in, about sickness, the furbabies final moments and death, but in time, more of the beautiful memories will be prevail and be there for you,too. Please hold on to them! The furbabies will never be forgotten and always have a special place in our hearts! And I believe they do want us to go on and be happy.
 
#216 ·
I am sure your Buddy is watching over you. I hope all the wonderful memories you hold in your heart bring you some comfort and hopefully a smile each day. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
 
#217 · (Edited)
Had really bad dreams

Just before I woke up this morning I had a really bad dream. It all started nicely like in a dream, my Buddy and I playing at the front yard. Then I turned my back for a second and he run on the street and got hit by a car. I rushed there and lifted him, but could do nothing. My Buddy was dying in my hands for the second time.
Why is that my Buddy? What are you telling me? Why cant I keep you alive at least in my dreams?

Love and miss you my boy.
Your brokenhearted mom
 
#218 ·
Just before I woke up this morning I had a really bad dream. It all started nicely like in a dream, my Buddy and I playing at the front yard. Then I turned my back for a second and he run on the street and got hit by a car. I rushed there and lifted him, but could do nothing. My Buddy was dying in my hands for the second time.
Why is that my Buddy? What are you telling me? Why cant I keep you alive at least in my dreams?

Love and miss you my boy.
Your brokenhearted mom
That stinks....I haven't had dreams about Honey. I'm hoping if i do they are happy ones.
 
#219 ·
Velinka, So sorry you're having bad dreams. (It's hard enough without that!!). We were at our cabin for awhile, so have been away from the forum for awhile, and trying to get caught up. I hope so much that you are able to attain some peace. I truly know how you feel, it is so, so hard without them. Sending you love and only good thoughts your way!
 
#221 · (Edited)
Walking down memory lane

I took a walk tonight on the path we walked together thousands times. I wanted to step back in time. There are many moments I cannot forget, moments like your run thru the field chasing birds, smiling at me every time I whispered your name, happy greetings the other dogs especially goldens. I still remember every stop we made, your favorite places to sniff I called news stops. I remember how proud I was when people said how beautiful you are. Things are so different, I was walking alone, instead of your leash my hands were busy with kleenex, I could not stop crying. I still need you and miss you.
Tomorrow is 13 months since you were gone taking a part of my heart and my soul with you. I miss you and love you more than I can say, even more than I can understand.
Looking forward to the day when we will be together again.
Your mom

Thank you all for your tremendous support and understanding, I do not know where I would be without your help.


 
#223 ·
I took a walk tonight on the path we walked together thousands times. I wanted to step back in time. There are many moments I cannot forget, moments like your run thru the field chasing birds, smiling at me every time I whispered your name, happy greetings the other dogs especially goldens. I still remember every stop we made, your favorite places to sniff I called news stops. I remember how proud I was when people said how beautiful you are. Things are so different, I was walking alone, instead of your leash my hands were busy with kleenex, I could not stop crying. I still need you and miss you.
Tomorrow is 13 months since you were gone taking a part of my heart and my soul with you. I miss you and love you more than I can say, even more than I can understand.
Looking forward to the day when we will be together again.
Your mom

Thank you all for your tremendous support and understanding, I do not know where I would be without your help.


Buddysmom
I think we all can say we have been where you are at. Today I will be going up north to our summer house. First trip there since I lost Katie. How she loved to swim in Lake Michigan. I know its going to be a tough weekend even though my other Golden Lilly will be with me. Still looking for that right Golden to choose me to be a dad to. Keep going one day at a time and open your heart to love another Golden. Im not so sure they need us as much as we need them.

Mike
 
#222 ·
Buddy's mom, my heart aches for you seeing you so sad and lost without your Buddy. He will always be with you, he's watching over you, his spirit lives within your heart and his memories fill your soul.

My hope for you is that one day soon you will be able to open your heart again to another Golden so that you will again know the love and joy a golden can give you and heal your heart.

You have so much love to give, life is too short to go through it being unhappy.
 
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