Originally Posted by sheebamattiemom View Post
My grief has once again been overwhelming today .. I made it thru Mattie's 2 month passing date I thought fairly well, only to fall apart all over again 3 days later.. I am so lonesome for her every day, but today it has just been a day that I can't seem to find any consolation from the grief.. I miss everything about her, and it just seems like a lifetime since I could hold her and tell her how much I love her .. I miss her little fur flying thru the air, her little nose prints on the doors, the sound of her sleeping at night, and the wag of her tail against the side of the bed when she wanted me to get up .. and those long loving gazes from her soulful eyes.. anyone reading this please send up a prayer for me ...
I just wanted you to know that I and many others here know exactly how you feel....we are part of a club who no one wants to belong to and we understand your pain.
When we share a love so pure and so deep, saying good bye is beyond excruciating.
I lost my beautiful Yaichi about 7 months ago, to what I believe in retrospect was hemangio, with no warning.
I won't retell my story here, only to say that I still lie in bed at night, feeling guilty for not knowing, for not doing things better, for not being able to save her....and I still cry, cry, cry all the time missing her, even though I have a wonderful new golden baby Brisby in my life.
Before I ramble too much, what I want to say is this: I/many of us know exactly how you feel...you are not alone. Don't let anyone tell you that you are grieving too long, too much etc., as everyone has their own way and their own time.
For me, everytime I read about another Golden here who has gone to the bridge, my heart mourns for my Yaichi and for all the others and the pain experienced by those who are left behind.
I don't think we ever really get over a loss which hits us at the soul level...we just learn how to live with it.
I do believe our precious fur babies who have crossed the bridge know how much we love them and miss them. I also believe they would not want us to be in the pain we are in, but would prefer we remember them with love, reverence and to pass it forward until we meet again...which I believe we will.
After 2 months of my constant crying and grief after loosing Yaichi, my boys insisted I get another Golden Pup, hence puppy Brisby.
I know it's not for everyone, however it really did help me by allowing myself to honor Yaichi's memory by trying to give a new GR pup a wonderful life full of love in her name..and because of her....and it did help ease some of the pain, although at certain moments everyday, still after 7 months I break down and cry, despite the love I feel for my new girl.
Be kind to yourself. Trust that your sweet Mattie knew you loved her with all your heart and then some. Know that she knows and knew that you would have moved heaven and earth for her if you could.
Grieve, cry...do whatever helps work through the pain at your own time and know that we all know exactly how you feel.
Sending you love and hugs.