Why won't my four month old golden cuddle? - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:02 AM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Why won't my four month old golden cuddle?

A couple of months ago my husband and I purchased our first puppy together, Riley. We researched a great deal before deciding on a golden retriever breed. Riley is wonderful, with the exception of some leash pulling and nipping at times. We researched a lot about crate training, which she seems to do great with. She has just enough room to lay down and turn around and as she grows we are adding more space. We place a blanket around her as I read this helps them feel safe. Because of her barking..we keep her crate in the spare bedroom. My concern is, I can tell when she is getting sleepy at night because she will start biting more and acting cranky. I keep trying to cuddle with her on the couch or the bed but she won't allow it. We have been strict not letting her on the couches or bed unless we invite her up. I am fearful that because she is use to not being on the couch/bed and use to sleeping in her crate, she will never want to cuddle.. She's great at sitting on my lap when we are playing or while she is chewing on a toy as long as I am sitting on the floor. Occasionally I try to let her rest beside me on the couch or the bed and she starts acting crazy (ie. biting at everything, scratching at everything, can't lay still, etc). Feeling very sad because I've always wanted a dog that would cuddle with me in the bed.. She's very affectionate during the day and when I'm sitting on floor..but won't rest with me at night. Is crate training and keeping her isolated when she sleeps keeping her from cuddling at night by chance?
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:14 AM
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Dont worry!

Relax! It's awesome how your teaching her not to jump up on furniture from a young age. But some dogs just aren't the cuddle type. They don't enjoy being smothered to pieces. Define cuddle. Does she not let you pet her? Anyway, my puppy doesn't really like physical affection much either but she is still such a sweetie.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:22 AM
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My older dog didn't like to cuddle much at first either but LOVED to be pet. Now she still loves to be pet but always lays with us now as well. She actually has to lay on me at night...

My youngest is now 7 months and he's just now starting to want to lay around with me but can't for long since he's too wiggely.

I think it's something that just comes with time. I just wouldn't try to force it.

The husband has always tried to cuddle the cat since he was a kitten and I just kinda pet him and love him when he wants it. Now that he's older he ALWAYS comes to me and avoids him lol
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:26 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the response! When I say cuddle I mean just laying beside me on the couch or bed while I watch tv, etc. If I am sitting on the floor she will lay on my lap and let me pet her every time she is chewing something. However, each time I try to invite her on a blanket on the couch or in the bed she won't even lay still enough for me to pet her. I try giving her a bone or a toy to chew on like she does on the floor, but she's too occupied trying to bite pillows, blankets, etc. My husband thinks she'll grow out of it and it's just because she is a puppy but I've seen many puppies lay next to their owner and relax or fall asleep. The only place she will sleep is in her crate..

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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:31 AM Thread Starter
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Sorry everyone...Riley is THREE months not four
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:38 AM
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I am not sure what you define as "cuddling" but many dogs regardless of the breed do not like to be held. I have 3 Goldens, each with very different personalities.
Baylee is a real sweetie, but a cuddler, no way. She doesn't even enjoy petting much. She is very independent and likes things only on her terms. Yet she is sweet and loveable and will lean against me when she chooses.
Beau is a happy,jolly fellow. He loves people and attention and prancing around. He is a joyful boy and makes eveyone smile but he does not enjoy being held. You can pet him all you want but "cuddling" is not his thing.
My third golden, Baxter, is a real love bug. He wants to climb on my lap and lean his head on me. He is the closest one I have to a cuddler but even he does not enjoy being held and smashed.
It really has nothing to do with your crate training. Your puppy is still young. Allow her time for the personality to develop and you will find out the type of bonding she prefers.
I also heard females tend to be more independent. In the case of my three Goldens that is definitely true. I don't really know if that is the case with all female Goldens.
There were many moments with my female, Baylee, that I felt a sadness because of her "distance" but I have grown to love her unique personality.
Good luck with your new pup. It sounds like you really are off to a good start.



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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUEeyedBUTTRFLY View Post
Thanks for the response! When I say cuddle I mean just laying beside me on the couch or bed while I watch tv, etc. If I am sitting on the floor she will lay on my lap and let me pet her every time she is chewing something. However, each time I try to invite her on a blanket on the couch or in the bed she won't even lay still enough for me to pet her. I try giving her a bone or a toy to chew on like she does on the floor, but she's too occupied trying to bite pillows, blankets, etc. My husband thinks she'll grow out of it and it's just because she is a puppy but I've seen many puppies lay next to their owner and relax or fall asleep. The only place she will sleep is in her crate..

Is your puppy getting a lot of exercise? It could be she is not tired enough to lay with you instead of chewing and wiggling. Having a puppy that sleeps nicely in a crate is a very good thing.



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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 07:29 AM
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My Gabby is not a cuddler. Yeah I wish she were but not her personality. My husbands lab is a MAJOR cuddler, and it is a lot of fun. As for laying near you as you watch TV etc, that will come with age.

Gabby is 12 weeks old, she is a motor. She is always on the go, when she does get tired she usually goes off and curls up by herself. Sometimes she comes near us, she just has an independent personality, however she loves to work and train with me so that is more important.

It can take time for personalities to develop, I wouldn't worry just love on your pup and you will have it returned 10 fold.

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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 08:17 AM
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I agree with others that it sounds like your pup may be over flowing with energy to the point that when you want to "cuddle" or "hold" her, she just can't do it because she's still bound up with too much energy.

Our Riley is a happy healthy boy who has settled down nicely since getting him two years ago. He still had a little bit of puphood in him at age 3 when we got him, but is a moderate snuggler now. Lexi, our new 7 month old girl, is a ball of never ending energy. She'll cuddle, but she's got a lot more energy then I thought she might have. We just have to make sure she has plenty of playtime and running around before we try to expect any type of "cuddle" from her. If she's still wound up she's bouncing and shaking around almost uncontrollable.

The bottom line...check and make sure the pups getting enough playtime to get all of that energy out, look for the signs, and relax. A puppy isn't much different from a 5 or 6 year old with lots of energy - that sometimes we as adults wish we could still have.
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 12-21-2010, 09:25 AM
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I thought the same thing when Molson came home. It isn't until around 1 year that Molson started to calm down and would crawl up on the couch or bed with us to snuggle. Now he is almost 2 years old and he hogs the bed, snuggles up so close to us all night that we can't even move!

Don't worry, it will come with time, just don't force him when he isn't ready to do it yet.
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