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Need advice... terrible behavior!

3K views 16 replies 15 participants last post by  Anele 
#1 ·
I am at my wits end with my Golden's behavior for the last min the or so. I go to bed feeling defeated every night and dreading the next morning. She is about to turn 1 in 2 weeks, and can be sweet as pie but lately her behavior has been horrible. My biggest struggle is she doesn't listen. She's been to puppy class, she knows the commands and will do them when we are training but she will not do them in real situations. She won't come when called, she bites at your hands so you will play if you get up and walk away she jumps on you and will grab your arm with her mouth and try to pull you down. When we go for walks she lays flat on the ground and refuses to get up if I don't let her do what she wants (like eat crap off the sidewalk). She's 70 pounds and I can't lift her. If I try to pull her up she snaps at me. I turn my back and she just lays there. One time I stood there for 40 mins and she had no intention of getting up. I try treats but she's not interested - she is not food motivated at all. It's a struggle to.get her to eat at all. She does the same drop and not get up when it's time to go in her crate for bed time or when I leave. I don't have time to allow 45 mins to fight her to get up every time I need to leave and she cannot have free reign of the house. I work part time so she's not in the crate all day. She gets plenty of exercise, we play and run in the yard, we go for 3-4 walks a day, etc.

Vet says she's healthy (other than a staph infection that cleared a few weeks ago), and she's been spayed. She only does this for me, trainers, other people etc she is golden and does anything they say so people think I'm crazy when I say she doesn't do it for me.

Any suggestions? After she outgrew her chewing everything puppy stage she was such a sweet girl, I don't understand why she's behaving this way.
 
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#2 ·
First off, welcome to the forum!
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with your girl. Sounds like you have one very determined teenager who's pushing the limits as far as possible. It seems you've done all the things I would have recommended, so I can't offer you any advice. Hang in there - they do grow up eventually.
There are many experienced owners who can give much better advice, so hopefully you get some good suggestions soon.
 
#3 ·
You may have to find 45 minutes in the morning to play, give her attention, just pet her and cuddle her, and then get a baby gate set up and let her be in one room with a chew toy or something that she won't destroy while you're gone.
When you get home, make it the biggest party ever.
When you go for a walk, take a book along. Max loves to just plop down and refuse to move. He's almost 9 and he's done that forever, and nothing will make him move till he's ready. I started carrying a book along - he plops, I read. He doesn't take nearly as long to start moving when he realizes that I don't care.
Sometimes I think dogs are like kids in that any attention is good attention. If she's not moving, and you're begging and trying to lift her, or doing anything at all, she's getting your attention. Wait her out.
I've said more than once that Max was sent to me to teach me patience. He's still teaching me patience. :)
 
#4 ·
Welcome to the forum! Sorry you are having such a challenging time. You have been given great advice above. I found completely withdrawing attention worked best for me but I do understand how frustrating it is to wait it out. I was wondering if you could get a private lesson with your trainer? Maybe they could join you on a walk and at home so they can better help you?
 
#5 ·
Welcome to the Forum! I could have written the same post about my 11-month old. And she only does this stuff to me, not my husband. It's crazy!


When she starts to bite at my hands I tell her to get a "baby" (toy) and that switches her attention to finding a toy to play with. When she jumps, I tell her to sit and I wait until she sits before I acknowledge her or pet her. I may have to repeat the command a few times but eventually it works.


My Mandy will lay down in the grass while on our walks, too. My neighbors chuckle and when I see them they comment on how lazy my dog is. No, she's just bratty! She likes to eat the grass and any trash on the walk. Most times I can use a treat to lure her up on her feet again but sometimes I have to just stand there, with my back to her, and eventually she gets up. Someone suggested using a 25 ft. leash and when she plops down, to just walk away and she will follow me. I've tried that multiple times and it didn't work but maybe it will work for you.


I feel for you, I know just how you feel, it is very frustrating. All the training in the world goes out the door when I come home from work. She is with my hubby all day and none of this misbehavior happens. I think it's just the adolescence stage and she will outgrow it.


My co-workers jokingly tease me that my husband abuses me because of the bruises on my arms. They are from her biting me!


But I know this phase will pass. When she's calm, she's the most sweet and loving puppy ever and I wouldn't trade her for the world. So hang in there. It will get better, I've been assured of that.
 
#6 ·
Good advice above....I would only add a suggestion that you back off on demanding that the dog obey as you would think it should, for the time being. What I am suggesting is that you don't become frustrated and upset and just back off a little. Obviously you need to continue working with her but for me I give them lots of massages and physical contact and praise. My Goldens crave attention and even the little one, just 16 weeks old now, will cuddle with me on the sofa or seek me out for affection when home.

She stopped biting at 12 weeks and now will mouth my hands and arms, which is fine for me personally.

I think, from my experience with 7 dogs now, that this will bet better as the dog matures. For your sake you can just keep working on it in a calm consistent manner and TRY not to get frustrated, hard as that is. I believe she will eventually develop into the Golden profile of best dogs you can have, but perhaps a little later than what some others have done.

Best of luck!
 
#7 ·
My take is that she doesn't have respect for you. You mentioned that she went to puppy class and knows commands when you're training but won't do them in real life. Think about how our attitude toward her and your demeanor differ between 'official training sessions' and during real life. Be honest with yourself about how business like you are in real life. Do you constantly repeat commands while she ignores or do you say it once and then make her cooperate? Somehow there is a disconnect.

It may help if you have her wear a short drag leash in the house attached to her collar when she is free. You can use this to direct her without grabbing her by the collar, an action that can be threatening to the dog. If the main issue is she won't come when called and the jumping and mouthing when ignored, then try putting a 10 foot drag leash on her and use that to enforce the recall command. Keep a baggie of treats in your pockets at all times or in a bowl on the counter out of reach so that anytime you call her to you, she receives a treat. When she starts jumping and mouthing, step on the long line so she can't jump up. Use it to control her. Think about the voice you use to correct her when she is misbehaving. Is it a deep, serious tone? I use a short, sharp 'Eh-Eh' to show displeasure to a dog I'm correcting who won't listen.

When she won't obey on walks, you may need to figure out if the heat is the problem - is this mid day? Otherwise, I'd purchase a 'gentle leader' head halter and you will have control to get her up. You need to make it clear that you are not playing with a no-nonsense tone.

If she is 70 pounds and it's hard to get her to eat, she's not food motivated, I would try cutting her meals back a little bit. How much is she eating and how often? Try 1/2 cup of food morning and 1/2 cup evening. Then use more high value bits of meat leftover from your meals. Make some liver cake with some garlic powder (there are recipes and it's easy to make at home) I suspect that you need to make it more interesting for her. Even my picky collie (I only feed him once a day so he will be hungry enough to eat) will do back flips for Bil Jac brand frozen soft dog food. (I use it for training treats for him) Keep working on finding something that she likes. If she is hungrier it will be easier. It won't hurt her to drop a pound or two while you work on this unless she is much taller than the breed standard.
 
#8 ·
I just wanted to say I'm in the same boat as you! My girl will be 9 months tomorrow. The only difference is Lexi doesn't lay down on walks and refuse to move. She pulls and strains while on the lookout for rabbits. Man there are a lot of rabbits in our area! The pulling and the jumping up kill me and the bruises on my arms.... Wow! We don't have a solid recall. She refused to sit in obedience classes. High value treat was cheese and that worked some of the time. She just has a stubborn streak a mile long. Throw in some teenage attitude and it's a disaster. I do my best to remain calm.

There has been some good advice given. I'm going to try it. I know my girl is a gem she's just being a poop right now.
Anything to be done for desensitizing her towards rabbits? I know it's an instinct but seriously.
 
#9 ·
Others may have better advice but for bad behavior when indoors I would suggest using a crate and when she does something show her you are dominant by putting her in her crate and not giving her attention for a few minutes and then let her out and if she does it again put her back in etc
 
#12 ·
If your training classes have all been at one location, try signing up for a training class that meets out doors or just at a different location. Sometimes dogs don't generalize. They learn to obey commands in the one training location, but that didn't translate to obeying in other places. Taking more training at another place will help teach her, i.e., sit means sit wherever you are.

I would also see if you can get a trainer to take a walk with you and show you ways to motivate her to cooperate.
 
#14 ·
I agree. I don't make it a negative thing. I just say calmly that she needs a time out and put her in for a few minutes. It is a different crate than she sleeps in. We have one in the living room and up in our room where she snoozes next to my bed. Now I just have to touch the crate in the living room and ask her if she needs a time out and she sits pretty and give me the innocent puppy eyes. It has been a good tool for us. We used an xpen when she was tiny, but she hated it after awhile and she would bark and bark. The crate is less stressful for her and gives her a chance to compose herself.
 
#15 ·
My pup turns 1 next week.

I posted recently about the fact that he has suddenly turned into a 'do it only when I wan't sorta guy despite being a very good boy up to that point. He has also realised that if he stops dead or lies down its a great 'protest'. I tend to ignore him now, or give him a few minutes and then call and reward with a treat which normally works.

His off lead work is very definitely suffering, but I am persevering and am trying to get him to play ball once he 'comes' to try and make it fun to come back. I have also booked him into a different training school just for a four week course to see if they can offer anything different by way of advice.

He is a lovely boy really but his hormones are really shpwing at the moment. Whilst out, he has to smell everything (given half a chance) so now I try to only allow this on my terms. He walks to heel in certain areas of my walk but then is allowed to smell the grass and dawdle in other areas.

I am seeing some improvement and it has only been a few weeks so I am hopeful he will snap out of it soon. Good luck.
 
#16 ·
My pup will be 14 months next Thursday, and for the past month or so, has decided he'd really like to be a pain in my *** :) He now refuses to sit and stay (he'll sit, but not stay, when previously he could sit/stay for well over a minute), he refuses to walk loose leash (he's constantly pulling to make me go faster when pace has never been an issue for him - plus he gets all 6' as long as he listens to my directional cues, which he isn't. he's such a spoiled dog) and he's mouthy as heck. He's even decided that he's just gonna flop if he doesn't like the direction we're going on a walk! I tell him that he's lucky that he gets to go for a walk with the way he's been pulling on the leash. Today he decided that he was done walking (it was hot, I don't blame him) and he went and flopped into a mud puddle. The entire side of his body was covered in a mixture of mud and sand (we were near a beach). Thankfully there was one of those wash stations nearby, so we could wash the grit off him, but he wouldn't even let me do that! He apparently didn't want to destroy his handiwork or something. And he decided that he didn't want to walk on a small sidewalk and tried to step down onto the road while a car was passing. I had a very stern talking to him about that one.

I find that when we hit these phases, it's best to start from the beginning and reteach/reenforce all the stuff we taught him.
 
#17 ·
I am sorry you are going through this! Just know it will make you a better dog owner in the long run because you will be gaining more skills and knowledge than others without these issues! (That's what I've comforted myself with during tough times. :laugh: )

My dog (20 months) used to be very food motivated-- as in, he'd even be happy with Cheerios, but now he is much more "selective." Was this true for your girl or has she always had strong food preferences? Is she food motivated at home but not while out?

I think there are a few things to consider:
1. What motivates her? Maybe you could hold a steak up and she wouldn't care, but what about a toy? Don't give up on food, either-- it could be you haven't yet found what works-- may be something out there. It could even be a paper napkin, like you bring some and give her one to rip up on walks.

2. Prevention. I'd look to see if there are any patterns on walks. Does she only plop down on the afternoon ones? If so, I'd cut them out or shorten them-- temporarily-- so this habit does not become further ingrained. Same for the crate. Do you have a routine that you could change? Likely she is always watching you and predicting, so if you create a new one and change it up so that it is pleasant, she will get used to the new routine and cooperate-- maybe. Look for ways you can change things up all around so that you psych her out! I don't mean in a mean way, but it sounds like she has studied you VERY well so you might look for ways to keep things new and fresh.

3. Attitude. Believe it or not, I have learned to baby talk to my dog. I don't even do that with my kids. But now when he steals a slipper, he generally doesn't run away. I talk to him and say, "Oh! You have a slipper? Oh you are so cute!" and I gush over him. So then he will quietly just drop the slipper and I usually give him a treat (though I never have one nearby when I am having a "discussion" with him). Now, some people say they don't want their dogs stealing slippers at ALL, but I laugh at his mischief. At this age, he doesn't even rip them up. He knows these things are his "currency." If everyone ignores him he will just put it down ( not in his mouth) and sigh, as if to say-- Why aren't we playing the trading game? And, if I need to, I say "leave it" and he does, but I just say it matter-of-factly and not angrily.

If you do a search on my posts, I was at my wits' end and thought our dog would not do well in a home with young children a year ago. Fast forward to now and he has become the Best Dog Ever. He used to be a terror on walks (biting and jumping) so we stopped walks for a while. Then he'd still do it when aroused so I taught him to jump on me on cue. When he first jumped he bit-- but then we broke this chain of behavior by quickly rewarding the jump without a chance to bite- and he was cured. Look to see what patterns are already established so that you can break them.

He is not a perfectly behaved dog but that's OK-- he's not a robot-- but he is truly the love of our lives. Your girl will eventually stop giving you this stress and will become a stress reliever.

Hang in there, see her with fresh eyes, and try to laugh because it's better than crying. I promise it will get better.
 
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