Advice, Bentley going back to NH - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums

GoldenRetrieverForum.com is the premier Golden Retriever Dog Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 12:10 AM
Bentleysmom's Avatar
AKA: Joyce

 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE MI
Posts: 7,421
Thanks: 9,414
Thanked 14,236 Times in 4,331 Posts
Advice, Bentley going back to NH

I've decided to restart our daily routine Monday and take Bentley to the nursing home. This will be his first time there since my MIL passed away.
He loves going there and he visits with everybody but he has a set routine. We walk in and he knows the way to MIL's room which is his first stop.

I'm not sure how to handle this. Should I let him go to her room to see that she's not there or would it be better to avoid her room? Losing her was a big deal for us but I don't want it to become a big deal for Bentley at his age.

All advice appreciated. Thanks.
__________________
”It’s impossible” said pride. “It’s risky” said experience. “It’s pointless” said reason. “Give it a try” whispered the heart.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bentleysmom For This Useful Post:
Karen519 (01-13-2013)
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 12:21 AM
Claudia M's Avatar
Senior Member

 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,439
Thanks: 4,462
Thanked 2,391 Times in 1,624 Posts
Personally I would not go there quite yet. I would go to a pet store, a park or elsewhere for awhile. JMHO.
__________________


Rose Bud - Golden Retriever (June 2012)
Darcy Bud - Flat Coated Retriever (June 2009)
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Claudia M For This Useful Post:
Bentleysmom (01-13-2013)
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 12:28 AM
Brave's Avatar
Jen
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,158
Thanks: 3,449
Thanked 7,784 Times in 3,530 Posts
Oh god! This is a tough one. I personally, would avoid it. But I know that you can't avoid it forever. At the very least, I would avoid the room for a while. Or you can do the polar opposite and go to the room and have a good, long, cry with Bentley. Talk to him. Tell him what happened and just let it out. It might be better for him to be able to deal with this upfront instead of avoiding the issue.

I don't know how it would cause issues. Would he get depressed? I have a limited experience with death and none that involves my pup. I'm sorry I cannot be more helpful

*HUGS*
__________________
Hecate Hellhound Bearer of Mischief - "Bear" - 8/2012 -

Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Brave For This Useful Post:
Bentleysmom (01-13-2013), whispered memories (01-13-2013)
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 12:31 AM
OutWest's Avatar
Supreme Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: San Mateo County, CA
Posts: 9,554
Thanks: 11,676
Thanked 8,009 Times in 4,594 Posts
Well, I guess that I'd be more worried about how you would feel. I think Bentley will be just fine--his life revolves around you, your DH, and Ky. if you feel up to it, do it. Or give it a little while longer.
__________________
Kathleen, mom to one human, age 18, two canines, and a bunch of fish.




Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to OutWest For This Useful Post:
BajaOklahoma (01-14-2013), Bentleysmom (01-13-2013), cubbysan (01-13-2013), Mayve (01-13-2013), nolefan (01-13-2013), TheZ's (01-13-2013), Wendy427 (01-14-2013), Willow52 (01-13-2013)
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 12:47 AM
Bentleysmom's Avatar
AKA: Joyce

 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE MI
Posts: 7,421
Thanks: 9,414
Thanked 14,236 Times in 4,331 Posts
Thanks. I know it's going to be hard for me no matter how long we wait. I just feel the need to see her friends because they don't get visitors in the nursing home and that's horribly sad. They all love Bentley and I would like to help them heal if I can.
I don't know what Bentley will think.one day she was in therapy when we got there and Bentley looked in all the rooms for her before he made his rounds.
__________________
”It’s impossible” said pride. “It’s risky” said experience. “It’s pointless” said reason. “Give it a try” whispered the heart.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bentleysmom For This Useful Post:
Mac'sdad (01-14-2013)
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 08:50 AM
Willow52's Avatar
Nancy

 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 7,244
Thanks: 1,384
Thanked 1,908 Times in 1,389 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by OutWest View Post
Well, I guess that I'd be more worried about how you would feel. I think Bentley will be just fine--his life revolves around you, your DH, and Ky. if you feel up to it, do it. Or give it a little while longer.
I agree. FWIW, my sister passed away 11/14 at the nursing home where she lived. My Homemakers Club "adopted" the nursing home and we make favors/gifts for holidays. When I delivered the Christmas favors in Dec. I wasn't expecting the wave of sadness when passing my sister's room which was right across from the elevator. I just want to say, be ready. (hugs)
__________________



**Fraulein "Maggie" Louise 8/2/95 - 7/20/09**
*At Rainbow Bridge but Forever in Our Hearts*



Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Willow52 For This Useful Post:
Bentleysmom (01-13-2013)
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 09:04 AM
DanaRuns's Avatar
Advanced Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,778
Thanks: 1,432
Thanked 2,786 Times in 1,023 Posts
Wow, that's a tough one, Joyce. I agree that I'd be more worried about you. But I'm sure the people at the nursing home would like to see Bentley.

In the absence of picking up on your feelings, Bentley would sniff around for her a bit, then kind of shrug his shoulders and think, "Oh, well, she's not here, I wonder where she is?" and then move on to his next friend. But he's going to pick up on your feelings, and if you are feeling grief and sadness, Bentley will be confused, worried and sad, himself. I think your feelings are going to be a bigger problem for him than the fact that his friend isn't there.

So, I don't know. I guess it depends if you are ready to go, imo.
__________________
I love my dogs.



Gibbs' Pedigree on K9data
Ziva's Pedigree on K9data
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DanaRuns For This Useful Post:
BajaOklahoma (01-14-2013), Bentleysmom (01-13-2013), Mayve (01-13-2013)
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 09:08 AM
goldensrbest's Avatar
love you spencer, forever

 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: maine
Posts: 8,128
Images: 36
Thanks: 2,909
Thanked 4,154 Times in 2,391 Posts
Man, i would not want to go to that room ,this soon, is there a room in which people go to , so they can be with others?
__________________
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to goldensrbest For This Useful Post:
Bentleysmom (01-13-2013)
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 09:12 AM
Vinnie's Mom's Avatar
Advanced Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 1,491
Thanks: 486
Thanked 986 Times in 674 Posts
I agree that Bentley will be fine because he has so much love and stability in his home. Maybe visit the others rooms first to help you keep your composure and visit her room on the way out. Do what you think is best for you.


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
__________________
Jodi





Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Vinnie's Mom For This Useful Post:
Bentleysmom (01-13-2013)
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 01-13-2013, 10:06 AM
Bentleysmom's Avatar
AKA: Joyce

 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: SE MI
Posts: 7,421
Thanks: 9,414
Thanked 14,236 Times in 4,331 Posts
Thank you. I'm not sure I can walk back in there quite yet. This AM I took Bentley to join the mall walkers, he loved it. Technically you're not supposed to take dogs in there but I didn't know that until we were leaving. Of course none of the walkers mentioned it to me because they loved having him

He was the class clown, having so much fun! He would pick someone to walk with for a bit then find someone else. He adjusted his gait to theirs. If that person was power walking he kept pace if the person was using a walker he walked slow.
I would love to make that a daily event. I wonder if I put a head scarf on him he could pass for a regular walker
__________________
”It’s impossible” said pride. “It’s risky” said experience. “It’s pointless” said reason. “Give it a try” whispered the heart.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bentleysmom For This Useful Post:
bonacker (01-16-2013), Cathy's Gunner (01-14-2013), FeatherRiverSam (01-14-2013), laprincessa (01-13-2013), Mayve (01-13-2013)
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:40 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.5.2
© Golden Retriever Forum .com
PetGuide.com
Basset.net DobermanTalk.com GoldenRetrieverForum.com OurBeagleWorld.com
BoxerForums.com DogForums.com GoPitbull.com PoodleForum.com
BulldogBreeds.com FishForums.com HavaneseForum.com SpoiledMaltese.com
CatForum.com GermanShepherds.com Labradoodle-dogs.net YorkieForum.com
Chihuahua-People.com RetrieverBreeds.com

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65