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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 04:27 PM
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Remember it took 7 years for you to develop the friendship that you had with Jake.
I think this is such an important point. When I first got Rookie as a pup, I enjoyed him and had fun with him and I thought I loved him. Honestly though, I didn't feel that much more for him than I did for any other sweet puppy that I encountered. Around the 7-8 month mark he drove me nuts with typical annoying puppy brattiness and some days I wondered if I had made a mistake and thought maybe I wasn't really a dog person after all.

Well, Rookie will be 6 in March and the relationship I have with him now is entirely different. Some days my heart just melts looking at him. I never imagined when I first got him that I could love a dog this much. I plan my days around his schedule. When I have to leave him for a business trip, I miss him like crazy. But it took time for that to develop.

It may be that you'll never feel the same closeness with Brooks that you did with Jake. But it's also very likely that if you just take the pressure off and give it some time, you'll develop your own bond with Brooks. A bond that has nothing to do with Jake and becomes valuable to you for its own sake.


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Diagnosed with indolent T-zone lymphoma 11/22/13, but still active and going strong!
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 04:50 PM
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This probably happens more than we know. I just had an interesting convo with my DH. I read him your post and he said that he didn't want to hurt my feelings because he knows how bonded I am to Bentley but he said he doesn't feel bonded to him yet.
This shocked me because he doesn't treat Bentley any different than Ky and he's certainly bonded with her.
He said he really likes him and would never consider getting rid of him, he just doesn't feel bonded yet.

hhmm. Maybe it happens and you're just the truthful one here. Hang in there, as I said to DH, I'm sure it will happen.
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Bentleysmom View Post
This probably happens more than we know. I just had an interesting convo with my DH. I read him your post and he said that he didn't want to hurt my feelings because he knows how bonded I am to Bentley but he said he doesn't feel bonded to him yet.
This shocked me because he doesn't treat Bentley any different than Ky and he's certainly bonded with her.
He said he really likes him and would never consider getting rid of him, he just doesn't feel bonded yet.

hhmm. Maybe it happens and you're just the truthful one here. Hang in there, as I said to DH, I'm sure it will happen.
This is so very true! Bear and I are most definitely bonded; but when I asked my DH about how he feels about the puppy, he just shrugs. He says he cares for the munchkin and he's glad he's our pup but he's not over the moon like I am. I asked if its because Bear is a big mama's boy... Following me around and always staying near me. But he said no, that didn't matter.

*shrug*

He still treats Bear amazingly. I guess it's different for each person.


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Hecate's Hellhound, Gypsy Magic - "Gypsy"
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 10:31 PM
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What you are feeling seems perfectly normal, as you still need time to mourn your loss of Jake and to adjust to Brooks.
I do have to say, you couldn't have picked a nicer name for a dog!
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 10:59 PM
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Some times we give them too big of shoes to fill...then we need to allow them to create a different pair of shoes. It will all work out...

I am so sorry for your loss, allow yourself time to grieve.

Mom to:
Hurley (da Monster)-Siberian Husky 3-14-2007
Layla (Peanut)-Golden 11-29-2008
Cally (Squirt)-Yellow Lab 7-4-2011

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."
~ Unknown

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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-31-2012, 12:21 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you everyone for your kind words. It helps knowing that I'm not the only person going through this. I am going to put the two of us (and my MIL and husband for that matter...naughty humans) into obedience classes, and possibly and agility class after that. Something a little different than what we did with Jake.

I'm also not going to push the issue. I'll let our bond happen at its own rate.

Kisamore Gold Gloves Brooks

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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-31-2012, 12:31 PM
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Gosh, I could have written your post pretty much word for word. Sorry for your loss.

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-Jackie- mom of twins plus one. Oh, and can't forget my Golden Retriever and my chickens! RIP Kayanne
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-31-2012, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seneca View Post
Thank you everyone for your kind words. It helps knowing that I'm not the only person going through this. I am going to put the two of us (and my MIL and husband for that matter...naughty humans) into obedience classes, and possibly and agility class after that. Something a little different than what we did with Jake.

I'm also not going to push the issue. I'll let our bond happen at its own rate.
Hi ...just wanted to say new dog new year new start .... all will settle in .... your golden will find a place in both your hearts .... sounds like 2013 is already shaping up ! just not as quickly as you might have thought !

Happy New Year,

Mac & Gary


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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 12-31-2012, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreammom View Post
Some times we give them too big of shoes to fill...then we need to allow them to create a different pair of shoes. It will all work out...

I am so sorry for your loss, allow yourself time to grieve.
This is perfectly put, every point.

"To my mind, I hold that the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the cruelty of man."
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
Mahatma Gandhi

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