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Would you..

62K views 503 replies 39 participants last post by  Charliethree 
#1 ·
adopt your foster dog if it meant that you had to give up fostering??
 
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#4 ·
I can honestly say that I have had some fosters recently that I absolutely adored and would have adopted in a heartbeat because they fit in so well in my home and with my pack. But I didn't because I can only (personally) do 4 dogs and my three are permanent and the 4th slot is for fosters (or trainees). I can't give any more than that emotionally, physically or financially.

It broke my heart to have them leave my home, but I have to be able to keep fostering. The last one that stole my heart completely was Virgo:

 
#5 ·
Yes. I would be a foster failure if I ever gave it a try. I get attached to animals pretty quickly. I'd like the cat or dog and want to keep it around permanently.

That's not an option at this point anyways. We have two cats and two dogs now. The addition of the last kitten seemed to make the house shrink, lol. No more animals until we get some land.
 
#6 ·
Due to a severe case of foster failure, I'm on hiatus....I can't say that I've given it up, just that there's no room in the inn for the time being.

I'm at three dogs right now and that is my personal limit, however they are all seniors (my weakness) and I know that our time together will be shorter rather than longer. When that sad day arrives for one of them I'll be back at it and welcome in a new oldie.
 
#7 ·
I don't do well fostering goldens as I fall too hard for them. That said, I have failed more than once and have never regretted adopting any of them. There are lots of other ways to help with rescue--we do a lot of volunteer transports (goldens as well as all breed) and so far (knock wood) I haven't failed one of them although sorely tempted :)
 
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#8 ·
A little background: Joseph was rescued 8 months ago from a kill shelter, he had been picked up after being dumped and he was reported to be terrified of people. Through an assessment with a certified behaviorist we found that Joseph had way more problems than just people (shows signs of being abused- flinching, or ducking at certain hand movement or approaches, running and hiding if you raised your voice, or he 'thinks' he is in trouble) - he was/and is terrified of and highly reactive to new dogs and the world in general scares him. We have worked long and hard with him, building his confidence, expanding his comfort zone, and helping him learn that the world is not so scary. There is no 'cure' for Joseph issues - just lifelong management and reinforcement of the skills he has learned and will learn - it is a process.

On the upside, once Joseph learns to trust you, he is an amazing dog, loving, loyal, devoted,obedient, and happy beyond measure in an environment he feels safe in. We love him, and truly only want what is best for him, there could be a perfect adoptive family for him, but in six months that he has been available for adoption - that family has not come forward. Joseph does deserve a second chance and a forever family that will love him for who he is and give him the life he deserves.


Dog Vertebrate Canidae Dog breed Mammal
 
#34 ·
A little background: Joseph was rescued 8 months ago from a kill shelter, he had been picked up after being dumped and he was reported to be terrified of people. Through an assessment with a certified behaviorist we found that Joseph had way more problems than just people (shows signs of being abused- flinching, or ducking at certain hand movement or approaches, running and hiding if you raised your voice, or he 'thinks' he is in trouble) - he was/and is terrified of and highly reactive to new dogs and the world in general scares him. We have worked long and hard with him, building his confidence, expanding his comfort zone, and helping him learn that the world is not so scary. There is no 'cure' for Joseph issues - just lifelong management and reinforcement of the skills he has learned and will learn - it is a process.

On the upside, once Joseph learns to trust you, he is an amazing dog, loving, loyal, devoted,obedient, and happy beyond measure in an environment he feels safe in. We love him, and truly only want what is best for him, there could be a perfect adoptive family for him, but in six months that he has been available for adoption - that family has not come forward. Joseph does deserve a second chance and a forever family that will love him for who he is and give him the life he deserves.


View attachment 109744
We were a foster failure over 12 years ago with a dog very similar to Joseph. Cheyenne was our first foster dog and I spent months working with her to get her over so many fears that I can't even list them all. I took two weeks off work just to lay under the kitchen table with her for about a week, not looking at her, but just letting her get used to me slowly. After 3 months I decided no one would spent this much time working with her and I didn't want her going to a home where she would have set backs so we adopted her. She passed in February at 15 years old of a brain tumor. I cry every day for her. She was an incredible dog. She had issues to the end, but traveled with us and enjoyed a wonderful life. If it meant having that opportunity all over again and not being able to foster because I adopted her I would do it in a heartbeat.
 
#9 ·
He is beautiful and is lucky to have you as his foster family!

The deciding factor for my adopting both Jasper and Daniel was that the adoptive home would have to be a better home for them than my home. With both of them, I had absolutely no doubt that I was the best home for them. Jasper because of his very sensitive nature and his bond with me and Danny because he needed the kind of exercise and training that I was willing to commit to.

Good luck with Joseph and your very difficult decision.
 
#10 ·
He is beautiful and is lucky to have you as his foster family!

The deciding factor for my adopting both Jasper and Daniel was that the adoptive home would have to be a better home for them than my home. With both of them, I had absolutely no doubt that I was the best home for them. Jasper because of his very sensitive nature and his bond with me and Danny because he needed the kind of exercise and training that I was willing to commit to.

Good luck with Joseph and your very difficult decision.
This is my measuring stick too. Bless you for taking in a hard case and working with him, his life is better because of you, it's all too possible he would not be here without you.

I am acquainted with fosters who feel pressured to adopt a foster dog because it will be hard to find a new home because the dog has special needs in one form or another. I always feel bad for those fosters because they put in so much effort and work with the "broken" babies, I feel like they should be able to choose to a dog they want who has all the characteristics they prefer, not feel forced to keep a dog who has issues that may not be their ideal dog.

I hope that makes sense. I'm not saying that's where you are in this situation, I know you love Joseph and want the best for him. As you said, there is the right home for him out there and if it is yours, you both win.
 
#11 ·
I hope to try my paw at fostering a golden some day, and unless i have a golden puppy of my own, i may end up adopting. I got my current dog right now when a friend was fostering her, and i visited often and fell in love with her and had to take her home with me :p Thats how i ended up with a pit mix instead of the lab or golden i had wanted as a first breed haha
 
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#13 ·
You could have been writing about our first "failure", Buddy. We ended up adopting him because his chances of adoption were 0. Our hope was that one day he would learn to enjoy life and just come to accept us and others. It took a LONG time, but we now ask, "where's our old Buddy?" He has totally turned around and is an amazing dog. Yes, he still has his quirks, but they are part of what makes him so special. He will still bark at some folks when they first come up, but usually accepts them and goes about his merry way. Some folks, like his Aunt Ava who has seen and helped him through this process, he adores and will go to them for attention. He pouts for about a week when someone new comes in, but then seems to realize that he is still going to get his share of loving and food/treats/toys and goes back to being "Buddy".

It sounds like you have been on this journey before with Charlie and that YOU are Joseph's right family, even it means you are at your max. You obviously have the right "touch" and patience. And you're absolutely right, sometimes we don't get to choose 'who is family', but I believe God has a hand in leading someone to you and there was a reason behind Joseph being placed with you.

Good luck with your decision and I hope to be reading soon that Joseph has found his forever home; if it is with you, I think he will be very happy and will reward you over and over with his undying love.
 
#15 ·
I was recently in this position. I had been fostering a very shut down puppy mill breeder mama (Izzie) who aside from going to the bathroom and eating, lived a life as a statue--no spark in the eyes. I'm set to transfer to Alabama for another assignment this Summer and I was beginning to get worried that the "perfect" home for her did not exist. She had been with the rescue for over a year and I was her 2nd foster of nearly 8 mos. While the rescue was set to provide her another foster home upon my departure, I wanted to ensure she wasn't going to a home to be "managed"...I wanted her to continue to blossom. In the meantime, I picked up a temp foster over the holidays, who was set to become golden #2 (Sam) in the family. My own golden is also out of a puppy mill and while she's come a long way, she's not without her own baggage which is why I wasn't looking to add another mill girl permanently. Sam on the other hand aside from some minor issues is "normal". Although it was a tough & emotional decision, I was prepared to let Sam go in order to provide a furever home for Izzie and then as fate would have it, a retired couple came along who already have their "normal" pups and were head over heels in love with Izzie, didn't see her as "damaged goodgs" and were prepared to continue the journey. Izzie's mom contacted DVGRR who has provided a wealth of resources with the rehabilitation process. I couldn't have created a more perfect family. I don't envy your position.
 
#16 ·
Adopted!!

We have decided to give Joseph his forever home. I think he 'knew' it all along, from the moment he stepped from his transport crate, he put his life in our hands, he did not react to us, he did not bark or run away - he came to us for the love he so desperately needed. He put his trust in us, and bonded with his foster dad, and has made some huge strides in coping with the 'real world'.
It is these 'special needs' dogs that rip your heart out, that take every bit of patience, understanding and love that you can give them, and return it a thousand fold. Having been through this process with my boy Charlie, I absolutely know the 'honor' of being 'chosen', trusted, by a fearful dog - a 'gift' beyond measure and betraying that trust is not an option.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have fostered,(and will do it again, when the time is right) and have a hand at saving lives, but the time has come to do the right thing for THIS dog, this rescue whose life was in limbo, and who has come to mean so much to us.

'Until there are none, rescue one.'
 
#22 ·
We have decided to give Joseph his forever home. I think he 'knew' it all along, from the moment he stepped from his transport crate, he put his life in our hands, he did not react to us, he did not bark or run away - he came to us for the love he so desperately needed. He put his trust in us, and bonded with his foster dad, and has made some huge strides in coping with the 'real world'.
It is these 'special needs' dogs that rip your heart out, that take every bit of patience, understanding and love that you can give them, and return it a thousand fold. Having been through this process with my boy Charlie, I absolutely know the 'honor' of being 'chosen', trusted, by a fearful dog - a 'gift' beyond measure and betraying that trust is not an option.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have fostered,(and will do it again, when the time is right) and have a hand at saving lives, but the time has come to do the right thing for THIS dog, this rescue whose life was in limbo, and who has come to mean so much to us.

'Until there are none, rescue one.'
That brought tears to my eyes. Joseph is so very blessed to have you all and I'm so glad you are able to open your hearts and homes to him, forever.
 
#17 ·
That's wonderful news you adopted Joseph! Congratulations on being a "foster failure" again! :)
 
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#18 ·
Your post brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for adopting him.
 
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#21 ·
Charliethree

CHARLIETHREE

I am ECSTATIC for Joseph and you that you have decided to 'ADOPT,' him, because I was going to say that you are his perfect home. It's horrible to say but I don't think there are many people in the world that are willing to do whatever it takes to love and care for a dog, especially one with special needs.

If your town has a law as to how many dogs you can have, would they not make an exception if one of the dogs in your home was a FOSTER dog, and not a permanent resident? If they won't, as someone else said there are so many more things to do for rescue: driving in transports, having an overnight (dog stay at your house from a transport), answering phones, going over adoption applications, etc.

Joseph sure knows how to pick the right home!! Doing the Happy Dance!!
 
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#26 ·
Congratulations on your failed foster. I have two of my own. I was going to say if you were still on the fence. Awhile back one of my fosters was with me for about a year. Nobody wanted him because he had seizures. CoCo was so handsome and sweet. Had only had a couple of seizures since he was with me but the only people interested had never dealt with seizures and thought meds would take care of them to keep them from happening. I thought he would be with me forever until a family came along that said the seizures didnt matter. They adopted a child that needed surgeries and was now all well and didnt mind the seizures. It was love at first sight for the whole family and with CoCo. I cried my eyes out when I left them together, partly because I loved that dog so much and because I would miss him. And the other part because his furever family had finally come for him. It took a long time but it did happen.
 
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#27 ·
Thank you. We are thrilled to have been able to put a smile on his face, and rekindle the light in his eyes, and the joy in his heart,
Vertebrate Dog Dog breed Canidae Mammal

10 months ago
and give him a second chance and his furever home - he deserves that much!

Until there are none, rescue one.
 
#28 ·
Just now seeing--Congratulations and wecome home Joseph!!!!!

Now we just need more pics of that beautiful boy!
 
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#31 ·
Update

Thought you might like to hear from Joseph. It has been a fantastic summer, he has worked hard at changing his ways. His 'safe zone' has diminished in size, he can now allow a dog to go by across the street without too much concern (most of the time)- HUGE for him. He and his dad, a 'meant to be' pair for sure, spent many days this summer in the front yard watching people and dogs go by without a bark or a rush at the fence, trying to chase them away, he would sit beside his dad and just watch, then look to his dad for his reward! I watched in amazement one day, as he lay by his dad's feet calm, cool and collected, watching the neighbour's terriers bark at him through a chain link face from across the alley. Their days 'off' were spent running free in the country and camping, which is totally Joseph's favorite thing to do, chasing squirrels and swimming in the river, what more could a dog want?
Strangers are still very much a concern for him, though he can now cope well with someone passing by (fairly close) as long as they don't pay him any attention. This is one issue that is so very hard to work on, as it is near impossible to find people that are 'brave' enough or have the 'dog sense' to help work with a barking, big black scared dog. Not that I blame them.
Truth be told, he can be a handful, some days, but he is one amazing, fun loving, gotta love him, dog. He has an addiction to T-tissue, steals the roll from the bathroom every chance he gets and of course, shreds it, counter surfs like crazy and is rewarded for it occassionally (we are slow learners), runs off to his crate with his stolen 'treasures', but will gladly give them up for a piece of food. He tries so hard to be a 'good' dog, though his lab energy and drive to have fun,(a good thing) and non-stop 'play with me' pestering of the other dogs can be a little annoying, he is truly a GREAT dog!

Dog Vertebrate Dog breed Canidae Mammal

Mammal Dog Vertebrate Dog breed Canidae
 
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