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What do you say to people who talk down to you about choosing a breeder over rescue?

2K views 12 replies 12 participants last post by  laprincessa 
#1 ·
I completely understand why people choose to rescue, and I would love to rescue in the future. Right now I have 3 young children and I feel like the right decision for me and my family is to be safe and research to try to find a puppy that is most likely to be healthy and have a great tempermant. I feel horrible when people ask, "what about a rescue pup" or, "there are so many dogs out there looking for a loving family". It makes me feel so guilty and I just don't know what to say to try to make them understand. I just don't like looking like an insensitive bad person. I would love to hear if anyone went through this and how they handled it. Thank you in advance!
 
#2 ·
My cousin just did this to me this morning. I told her that I had a picture in my mind and knew exactly what I wanted. Rescue didn't have the temperament that I wanted when I was looking. Then I reminded her that I also have a rescue right now. You can tell them you plan to have a rescue dog sometime in the future, just not at this particular time.
 
#4 ·
Don't let overzealous people make you feel guilty. Rescue dogs can be just as good if you're just looking for a family companion, but it's not always the right choice for every situation. I think it would be worse to adopt a young dog, not knowing the temperament or energy level and then have to rehome when the dog is older and harder to adopt. There is absolutely no shame in supporting a reputable breeder. They are breeding to better the breed and produce healthier offspring, not just make a buck. I think few people who throw out the guilt trip really think about what would happen if the good breeders really stopped breeding, they only consider BYB's and puppy mills. Even the rescues I support aren't anti-breeder. Somebody has to keep the breed alive, they just want it to only be reputable breeders.
 
#5 ·
I think it depends on the person. I honestly don't put much effort into strangers. I would thank them for their suggestion and move on.

For a family member or friend, I think you answered it well. You are making the your best decision for your family and you should never let anyone including yourself feel guilty about that.

I fully support both rescues and responsible breeders. The way is see it is this:
Adopting a dog from a rescue organization is about saving the future of a dog. Buying from a responsible breeder is about saving the future of a breed.

Both are worthy and honorable. I also believe if you want a dog and all the great traits that come with all dogs, rescues and the pound are a great option. If you want specific traits that come with a Golden (or any other breed), a known history and a lifetime of support, going to a responsible breeder is a great option.

Ultimately it is always your pet, your choice.
 
#6 ·
I think you say exactly that. You have three young children and you have got to make sure you get a good fit. One where you can help shape their personality. If your heart is set on a golden you don't find golden puppies in rescues very often. A lot of times golden rescues might not even adopt to someone with three young kids. In saying that our golden rescue has had so f.many 1 to 3 yearold the last few months that were great dogs and had no issues. But there is nothing like having a puppy. As hard as it is they are 10X more fun. I get so sick of the adopt don't shop nonsense.
 
#8 ·
You're not an insensitive or bad person for wanting a puppy over a rescued dog. There are lots of great rescues out there, but rescue dogs come with their own issues, just like a puppies come with theirs. You could tell them you want to make sure you have a pup that is going to be well socialized and tolerate children--sometimes (but not always) rescues don't, or haven't been super up close and personal with kids so you don't really know. You could tell them you want to promote the health and welfare of the breed. Ultimately, no matter which you choose, you're in for a lot of work and a lot of happiness!

People have said that to me before too. My first dog was a rescue--at the time there was no way I could handle a puppy because of time issues. He came with his own set of stuff that we spent a lot of time on, but he was truly a joy. My second was a rescue puppy--she came with a LOT of health issues that I knew about up front. Many people wouldn't have considered her. My third was a puppy from my own breeder. One of my friends was like 'why wouldn't you rescue??!! There are so many great dogs out there." Conversely, when I rescued my first and second dogs, my parents were like "why would you do that, why wouldn't you want a dog that isn't going to have as many issues." They only ever owned Goldens from breeders.

Ultimately, there are people who are just going to be in the "never breed, only rescue" camp. You don't need them to understand, and they might not agree with you no matter what they say. Try not to take it to heart, or let them dictate your feelings too much if you can. In your heart, only you can make that decision for yourself and your family. No matter what, your dog will be a source of joy.

As an aside. People will share this kind of stuff about many dog related things: rescue vs breeder, training styles, crate training, prong collar vs gentle leader vs easy walk harness, dog food, pet insurance, leaving your dog alone or outside. No matter what, many pet owners have passionate beliefs, and often will share them, sometimes unsolicited. A stranger yelled at me on the street for "muzzling' my last dog when she was in a gentle leader. She pulled an insane amount for a 45lb golden. I educated her about them, but she didn't care. It stung, but I knew I was doing the right thing for my girl at the time. You just have to figure out what is best for you and your family :smile2:
 
#9 ·
Your dog, your choice. You shouldn't feel obligated to explain yourself, and you shouldn't feel defensive about your decision.

Everyone wants something different from a dog... I want fancy pedigrees, dogs who can compete successfully, dogs who look a certain way, respond to training a certain way, and are clear of half a dozen problems so I don't have vet bills for genetic diseases. I just bought a puppy last month with a specific pedigree, and I'm pretty certain as an adult, she's going to be exactly what I wanted when I put a deposit down at 1 week of age.

Someone else may just want a pet, and whichever dog gives them the "look" and makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside fits the bill. Size, color, breed, temperament all irrelevant. There's nothing wrong with being on either end of the spectrum. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed about wanting a purebred puppy from a breeder.
 
#10 ·
I just say 'because I love golden retrievers ' :)

I have rescued and might again some day but honestly, it is no one's business why you choose the dog who will be called your own.
 
#11 ·
The ultimate goal is to end up with a dog that you will be willing to commit to for the entire life of the dog. Unless the dog is free it is a purchase. It is up to you to make the best decision for your family. Each of us that commits and loves a dog for its entire life is part of the solution. If you look at the pictures of the dogs on this forum, they come from shelters, rescues and breeders and for the most part are loved for their entire lives. They are part of the solution. :)
 
#12 ·
I completely understand why people choose to rescue, and I would love to rescue in the future. Right now I have 3 young children and I feel like the right decision for me and my family is to be safe and research to try to find a puppy that is most likely to be healthy and have a great tempermant. I feel horrible when people ask, "what about a rescue pup" or, "there are so many dogs out there looking for a loving family". It makes me feel so guilty and I just don't know what to say to try to make them understand. I just don't like looking like an insensitive bad person. I would love to hear if anyone went through this and how they handled it. Thank you in advance!
I think you say exactly that. :)
 
#13 ·
Y'all are a lot nicer than I am. I bluntly ask if they're buying the food or paying the vet bills and tell them that when they start doing that, they can tell me what I'm supposed to do and until then, it's a "nonya" as in "none of your business."

We don't have a fence and we aren't about to invest in fencing in 11 acres of wooded property. And I don't happen to like pit bulls, which is basically all you'll find at the shelters here. I don't want fancy schmancy, I just wanted a pet. So we went to someone who raises healthy puppies with good temperaments, and is maybe not doing anything to "better the breed" - that term always makes me wonder what needs to be better since I think Goldens are pretty perfect as they are. Our choice, no one else's business.
 
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