I broke up with my ex in Feb of 09. Quickly realized that I had made a huge mistake, but by the time I did, I was dating someone, and he was so hurt that he refused to even talk. Fast forward to last week, I find out he's dating a girl I work with. Technically. We're employed by the same company (my grandfathers furniture business), but I work in a different building and business altogether, and we have no contact. She's rubbed me raw since the day she started, back when I did work at the same store she's at. She's a gossip, a s*#t stirrer, is 28 years old and behaves like a college student. So of course hearing that they were dating upset me, though I'm not sure why. He's dated a few women in the last year and a half, none of which I even cared about. But now I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate. I've lost 6 lbs in 8 days. My relationship with my current bf is strained because he knows why I'm freaking out, which is not fair to him at all, but I can't help how how I feel, you know. I guess I just needed to get it out to someone who has a completely unbiased view of the situation, and to vent, because I'm so tired of holding it in.

__________________

Elizabeth & the WV Crew
Sage, Sydney, Taz and Buddy (dogs)
Captain, Kahlua, Sushi, Bert, Henry, Olivia, Oscar, Oliver, Little Kitty, and Tai, (cats)
Fluffy(rescued hypo corn snake)
Whiskey (ghost corn snake)

~No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little~
Edmund Burke

Follow my blog!! http://epwv82.blogspot.com/

I am so sorry you are going through this. Do you ever talk to your ex anymore? Know how he's feeling?

Grieving is long and hard. Hope you have support from friends.

__________________

Sasha, Gunner,
& Angel Selka in Heaven

Love You Always
Max, Sophie and Shammy

it happens. Maybe your at a point in your current relationship that is the same as when you ended your last? Everyone looks back and questions. So maybe your just feeling it's time for this relationship to move or move on.

I think you sometimes always on some level judge new gal pals of old boyfriends - but don't let his happiness/or non-happiness ruin yours if that is what you have. Put the past in the past. Look at what you have and figure out why your questioning it. I don't think it has to deal with the old guy...it's something your questioning.

I think it's worth talking with your current boyfriend. It's possible your putting up walls because things were going well? sometimes the fear to commit is what makes people question things that are not really present. And the old guy is not present - your making him present...unless he is in your life as a friend as well...if that is the case perhaps that is too much and not good for you. Staying friends sounds good - but it's hard if you still have feelings.

(((HUGS))) and hope things work out

__________________

Sorry you're going thru this....I just read in Ann Landers (I have a 17 yr old girl so she needs advice besides that from mom!) about when a relationship ends, it's never good to try & be friends or hang near/around the same friends at first. I know that must be difficult since you're employer is the same parent company, but try & make a new circle of friends/activities to get you out & away from your ex & his goings on. I know..easier said than done, but it's so much more difficult to move on & heal if it's constantly in your face. If you are meant to be friends or more, it may work out later...but you both need time. And, please don't get mad at me for saying this, but it may be better to not have a boyfriend at the current time....rebound relationships are really just that...even though you may feel like you need a date or bf, I really believe people need to heal with their friends & without new relationships.

Good luck & surround yourself with positive people & events, it'll help!!!

(((hugs))) we've all been there & it doesn't get easier, just gain knowledge to help you thru it.

__________________
Michelle - momma to:
Chateau Xcelerate The Beat Box "Bear" 4/30/09 -




Princess Nugget at the bridge...6-6-98 til 6-4-10
We miss you Nuggy girl...always in our hearts

It's just so hard. It's been almost 2 years. And the relationship with my current bf is far from good, even previous to this. In some ways its my fault because I constantly compare L (current) to E (ex), and E always ends up winning. We broke up because I was tired of waiting. We'd been together 4 years, I wanted more, and he didn't act like he did. And it's not like I didn't tell him. After we broke up, he sent me flowers for the first time in the entire relationship. And when he moved out he moved into a rental my dad had...400 yards from my house. So that means everytime I leave my house, I get to see her car in his driveway. But like I said, he's dated, on and off, since we broke up. Never affected me whatsoever. Nada. Not at all. I just know what kind of person this girl is, and it's killing me because he deserves better. Maybe not me, but he deserves better.

__________________

Elizabeth & the WV Crew
Sage, Sydney, Taz and Buddy (dogs)
Captain, Kahlua, Sushi, Bert, Henry, Olivia, Oscar, Oliver, Little Kitty, and Tai, (cats)
Fluffy(rescued hypo corn snake)
Whiskey (ghost corn snake)

~No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little~
Edmund Burke

Follow my blog!! http://epwv82.blogspot.com/

well if the current relationship is bad...you kinda know what needs to be done.

If you some how think the old relationship was "the one" whats the risk to you talking to him about your feelings? The worst is - he does not feel the same...and it's final and good for you to let go.

I'd say he needs to move. That is not good for you to have him next door - no wonder your not letting go - but is he? Hard spot your in...but I think you know what to do.

I also think you deserve just as much good and happy as anyone - past is the past. Don't sit in the bad of it--no wonder your upset. Time to step out of the past and build the happy you deserve. (The first steps are the hardest)

__________________

Sometimes it seems like women (me included!!) tend to blame the other woman instead of the boyfriend, husband, male, etc. I mean, on one hand he kinda got over you quickly...dating lots of girls. Don't get mad, just trying to put another spin on it... He must be able to see what kind of girl she is. It's possible he's not looking for anything serious and just wants a "fling". I'd let him take care of himself. One thing I've learned in my old age "You can't change someone". If you are dissatisfied with current BF it's probably time to move on. Someone special is out there for you. Good luck.

yeah he definitely needs to move. But I doubt he'll be going anywhere unless he moves in with her (in which case I will lay down and die of heartbreak right then and there), or God forbid she moves in with him, and then I have to be neighbors with both of them. She's 28 years old, and has nothing. I'm not putting down anyone who doesn't own anything at 28, but her dad, just last year, had to come take her car away and sell it before they repoed it because she couldn't make her payments. She's slept with at least one, maybe more, other guys who we also work with, and can't find a roommate and can't afford her bills. She's going to use him because she needs someone to take care of her.
I have talked to the ex, he has made it quite clear that he is moving on and. But what's funny is that for a year and a half he's been perfectly civil, but now that he's got a gf he's turned into a total jerk.

__________________

Elizabeth & the WV Crew
Sage, Sydney, Taz and Buddy (dogs)
Captain, Kahlua, Sushi, Bert, Henry, Olivia, Oscar, Oliver, Little Kitty, and Tai, (cats)
Fluffy(rescued hypo corn snake)
Whiskey (ghost corn snake)

~No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little~
Edmund Burke

Follow my blog!! http://epwv82.blogspot.com/

Have you looked at maybe moving on from all of them? Since he has moved on maybe you have to move on too. It is not fair for that guy you are seeing if you are not commited to being with him. Walk away, Start looking at yourself and be kind to yourself. I was in your shoes before I met my Tim. I stayed single for a couple of years and it was the best thing I did for myself. I learned alot about myself. And when I was ready, there wasnt as much baggage. It sounds crazy but it was true. Put some plants our some fencing up between his place and yours, so you dont have to see them coming and going.

__________________

He doesn't live right beside me, but I have to pass his house once I'm out of the neighborhood to get to the main road. My issue with the current bf is that, he's a jerk. An untrusting, totally unconfident jerk. Hes freaks out that I have friends and interests that don't involve him. And in the last year and a half, when there were several opportunities for me and my ex to get back together, I always fell for L's line of bs when he'd tell me he'd change and everything would be ok. And now it's too late.

__________________

Elizabeth & the WV Crew
Sage, Sydney, Taz and Buddy (dogs)
Captain, Kahlua, Sushi, Bert, Henry, Olivia, Oscar, Oliver, Little Kitty, and Tai, (cats)
Fluffy(rescued hypo corn snake)
Whiskey (ghost corn snake)

~No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little~
Edmund Burke

Follow my blog!! http://epwv82.blogspot.com/