I'm so sorry. I'm one of those people that, in bad situations like that, feels very awkward and just doesn't know what to say. I always end up saying something stupid. Maybe just ask them to get together and go to dinner or something. They may think you're trying to spend as much time as possible with your mom and family.

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Sometimes hospitals have support groups for families facing cancer. I know our HMO in California did. At least you would be with people who understand what you are going through.

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I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. I just hate that c word.

I think Terra summed up pretty much all of what I was going to say. For some people who haven't been through it, they don't understand what it means or how much it affects your life. And for others who have been through it, they just don't want to experience it all again. I think if you ask your friends for support, tell them you need to talk, or that you need to go out somewhere and take your mind off of it, they should be helping you.

It may also be worthwhile to look for a cancer support group in your area. Sure these people may be strangers now, but they are all going through the same thing you are, and you can all share ways to cope. When my dad was dx'd with cancer when I was 9 (and have 2 other siblings), my mom went to some of those meetings and she said it helped her quite a bit.

I hope your mom's treatment goes well and that she beats the cancer! Don't forget that you always have us here, too! Sending you lots of hugs!

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Denise,
We are here for you and you know you can talk to me. I have been thru it with my Mom. One of our friends is going thru end stage cancer right now and only has about a week left. He is home and being taken care of by hospice and his wife wont let anyone do anything for her. I am keeping your Mom in my prayers and thiking of you all the time.
Maybe if you talk to those people again tell them you need to talk and get their reactions. Some people are very uncomfortable in not knowing what to say so they say nothing.

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I am so sorry to hear of your moms cancer. Sending healing vibes and good thought's to your mom and your family. I think sometimes when horriable things happen some friends just are not sure what to say so they nothing or something that hurts. My husband and I lost our son at 4 days old he would be 13 now but some of my very best friends said some things that hurt badly and some said nothing which hurt to. It took me many many years to heal (as much as you can)and many years to understand that they meant no harm they just did not know how to handle it. Again love to you mom and family!

I am so sorry about your mom, and what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope you know we are here for you.

I was guilty a few years ago of not being the best friend I could have been at the beginning when a friend's husband was diagnosed with ALS.

She was adamant about not wanting to talk too much about it, but I didn't realize that she meant with those she didn't consider the "inner circle". I was trying to give her space, and she was wanting me to talk to her. We did talk about it shortly after the diagnosis, and I was glad to know what she needed and be able to support her in the way she needed after that. I will always regret that I didn't get it right at the beginning.

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I am sorry you are dealing with your mom's cancer diagnosis. It's hard for people sometimes to know whether you want to talk about it or not. Maybe they need you to tell them "I really need to talk with my friends right now..." Otherwise, your friends may thnk you want to spend all your time with your family instead of friends, or that you are really busy and wouldn't want to be bothered with ordinary everyday stuff like a friendship.

I have seen to with different people when they heard that a good friend's parent is chronically ill - they too are going through a process themselves for many reasons.

1) They too have a relationship with that parent and are afraid of losing them

2) It brings back bad memories of one of their loved ones

3) It is a reminder that their parents will one day be in the same place

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Thanks everyone for listening and your prayers for my mom. Was hoping she could come home today, but she had to have a blood transfusion today. Hopefully she will be able to come home in the next few days.