I'm bored! Tell me joke - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 10:44 PM Thread Starter
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

Anyone have a good (appropriate of course) joke to share?


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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 10:56 PM
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Oh...appropriate, huh? Well, in that case, I'll have to get back to you.

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 10:56 PM
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

My boyfriend.....😉


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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 11:07 PM
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This isn't really a joke to tell you, but you can tell others:

Tell someone that you can make them say black. Then ask them what's the color of an orange. Of course they'll say orange. Then ask what's the color of a lemon. They'll say yellow. Then ask what's the color of our flag. They'll say red white and blue.

To this you say, I told you I could make you say blue. And 9 out of 10 people will say, You said black. So there you go, you made them say black. Works almost every time. I remember when I was little my uncle got so mad when my Dad told him this joke that he screamed, "You said black. Black, black, black!" Which of course made evey one laugh harder...

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 11:13 PM
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

How do smurfs make babies?


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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 11:20 PM
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and killed everyone. Upon arrival in heaven, God says "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person canít decide on what to wish for so ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple of people make their wish to become beautiful and the man at the end laughs even louder. One after another the people wish the same thing and the closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?" The man says, "Make them all ugly again!"


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1500 years ago everybody knew the earth was the center of the universe

500 years ago everybody knew the world was flat

Today you know that people are alone on this planet

Imagine what you`ll know tomorrow

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 11:28 PM
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A woman is leaving a coffee shop and she sees a funeral procession. She sees a big black hearse pass by, then a second hearse followed by a woman walking a dog and 200 women following close behind. Curiosity gets the best of her, so she tastefully pulls the woman with the dog aside and asks " can you tell me who is in the first hearse? I have never seen anything like this." The woman replies " my husband. His dog attacked and killed him." The first lady asks "who is in the second hearse?" The woman replies " my mother in law. She tried to stop the dog and he killed her too." The first lady thinks a while, then asks "can i borrow your dog?" To which the widow replies "sure, get in line."
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 11:32 PM
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by maggiesmommy View Post
A woman is leaving a coffee shop and she sees a funeral procession. She sees a big black hearse pass by, then a second hearse followed by a woman walking a dog and 200 women following close behind. Curiosity gets the best of her, so she tastefully pulls the woman with the dog aside and asks " can you tell me who is in the first hearse? I have never seen anything like this." The woman replies " my husband. His dog attacked and killed him." The first lady asks "who is in the second hearse?" The woman replies " my mother in law. She tried to stop the dog and he killed her too." The first lady thinks a while, then asks "can i borrow your dog?" To which the widow replies "sure, get in line."
I don't get it....


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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 11:33 PM
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

They smuck.


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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-10-2013, 07:42 AM Thread Starter
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I'm bored! Tell me joke

A Skeleton goes into a bar and says, " give me a beer!...and a mop!"


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