The sad part is that the children involved are probably not very happy. All children like some structure, and like to know what is right and wrong. They may not always do what is right, but they like to be able to recognize it.

I read a book on child-rearing once written by a dog trainer. His point was to reward good behavior and correct when things went awry, just like with dogs. He thought many parents did too much explaining the "why" of things to their kids and if they skipped some of that, everyone would be better off! Made sense to me.

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Kathleen, mom to one human, age 17, three canines, and a bunch of fish.

I am older and from a different world. In my home, kids are expected to have manners and if the parents don't stop bad or dangerous behavior, then I will. My family and friends all know this and monitor their children when they bring them. At my house, we laugh a lot and dog and dog hair are all part of it. When you come to my place you are expected to have a great time, but my home is my home and will be repected, my dogs are my children, my house rules will be followed. Parents today are very different and in many cases I think they like it when I take charge. A lot of fun can be had but going nuts and abusing your privileges in my home will get you a time out, the same as my dogs get!

You are much nicer than I would have been. Next year make it clear on the invitation that this will be an adults only party. I feel sorry for those twins, family has become "litter blind".

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When I was in the process of buying our home, my realtor would come with her kids and they would play hide-n-seek in the empty house. Ok. Fine. Nothing destructive. Well as soon as we closed on the house and got the key/final walk through she brought her, her husband and her two kids plus one of her son's friends. They threw apple cores behind my bushes (cause you know it's all natural and will decompose..... Um yes but not without some ant activity. Grrrr) and they ran through my house, slamming doors and running into walls. I got so frustrated I went to my car and grabbed some Nerf weapons my husband plays with (yes you heard that right. They're actually tons of fun). I called the kids over, chastised the behavior inside, made them promise to behavior better outside, handed them to the kids and sent them outside. I was shocked with what they were able to get away with. I still adore their parents. Just make it adults only. M'Kay? Lol!!!


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Don't invite them,or the grandma next year.

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WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE BECOMES A MEMORY,THE MEMORIES BECOME TREASURES,OF THE HEART.

I actually had waited a whole year to invite them over again because I dreaded their bringing their undisciplined boys (they don't believe in babysitters). The mom sent me an email and said it had been such a LONG time since we had had them over.
You know what amazes me? Both parents teach at a university, so they understand that one can learn how to do anything by studying up on it. So, why have they never gotten a book on parenting or positive discipline?

Wow, that sounds horrific and I too couldn't have been so tolerant. I HATE bad behaviour in children and my children who are now adults cannot bide bad behaved children either and are the first to admit they are thankful I wouldnt tolerate it from them.
Children want and need boundaries and in fact their brains do not have the ability to reason when they are small so all that talking parents seem to do these days is completely wasted on them. In our house we had a saying 'because I'm your Mother' which basically put any 'why's to bed immediately and it late got changed to an instant 'because she's da Mamma'! by my son and he once saw a fridge magnet with it on and bought it for me! I have told them that NO-ONE anywhere ever will love them more than I do or want the best life can offer them more than me so everything I ever tell them is for their own good, without question. I had 'friends' who would bring their children and leave trampled food in the floor, curtains hanging from the rails and scribbled walls. They didn't get repeat invites, I would ensure we went there or only arranged meet ups in the evenings when all children were tucked up asleep!
Definately have an Adults only party!

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My darling girl who bravely went to Rainbow Bridge 23/02/2010 aged 14 yrs 4 months and is missed every day

Being well educated really doesn't have a lot to do with being pragmatic and good at life's challenges, in my experience. There are lots of brilliant academics who would have trouble balancing their own checkbook, LOL.

I know you want to maintain a courteous relationship with these folks, but perhaps it's time to make the party adults only, and if asked, be willing to say why to these clueless people.

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Kathleen, mom to one human, age 17, three canines, and a bunch of fish.

My husband often says about his well educated wife that I can do anything that involves books, but day to day living leaves me totally baffled.

Yup, he's got that one nailed.

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If Coppers-mom was there she could have put them in place with her bat tongs.

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I'm sure threats of putting them in the freezer would have a chilling effect on their antics!

Sorry this happened to you! It makes you think those two will be in juvie hall or worse when they get a little older because their parents couldn't be bothered to discipline them!

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