Join Date: Oct 2008
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My heart is breaking for you. The image of the frozen ground is just so, so sad.
Please try to let go of your guilt. We don't have perfect knowledge of everything that's going on in the body, so we cannot make perfect decisions about medical treatments. There's no reason to feel guilt over that. Any fear or pain she felt is the fault of the cancer, not anything you did.
You love your girl, and you did everything you possibly could for her. If she understood everything, she would never want you to feel guilty about things. She'd just be happy to be so deeply loved. We try to give our dogs the most painless, calm exit we can, but we are not gods. We do our best and muddle through.
You did an amazing job being there for your girl. You were with her for the scary part, and that's more than a lot of us get.
So let the guilt go if you can and focus on what a wonderful dog you had. It hurts so much because you had a good dog who loved you very much.
Sleep soft, good girl.