Thanks guys!! if you saw her walking in the street you would not know about all of the turmoil beneath the surface.
It really feels like the calm before the storm. It is a surreal feeling knowing that your world is about to take a massive blow at any time.
The greatest gift has been that noone has told Tia that she is dying. To look at her you would not know that anything was wrong apart from the huge lump growing before our eyes on her side. She walks a little more slowly but her fur is so soft and her eyes are so clear.
This forum has kept me in check by reminding us not to take anything for granted. It has also reminded me of my core spiritual beliefs. Only time will tell if I can remind myself of this advice that I so often dish out when the storm hits.
I am trying to prepare myself and be happy that she is finally going home to a loving joyous place that she so deserves after a life time of hard work but at the same time I am trying to brace myself for the big shake up that will leave us empty and desolate.
I look around the house and see so many things that will change once she is gone. Gradually over time we have made major changes to the set up and furniture of the house to cater for her arthritis and heat intolerance that won't be needed anymore.
I often wonder if it is best not to know as the mental torture has been difficult. There are tugs at the heart strings of any odd sound only to find that they came from our other young golden:P
I guess at least I have had the opportunity to stroke her soft fur with a more thoughtful intent, and take note of her funny quirks like resting her head on the coffee table, enjoy her genuine smiles and look into those big, innocent, loving and care free eyes.
I love the way some people make buckets lists for their dogs but Tia has been so spoilt over the years that there I am struggling to think of anything that we haven't done with her:P
In the meantime we watch and wait with our faces towards the sun as we count the blessings that we have here and now.
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and prayers