One thing that came to my mind as I held the first box with our first golden's ashes in it was that he truly is a spiritual being. 12 years on, he still lives in our hearts, his spirit just as strong as it was when he lived in a physical form.
God bless. We'll continue holding you in our thoughts and prayers.
Tonka & Tucker
SNOBEAR at the Bridge
Dec. 23, 1999-March 27, 2010
SMOOCH at the Bridge.
Feb. 14, 1999-Dec. 7, 2010
Thinking of you. It really is very bittersweet bringing their ashes home very difficult indeed. It does help though as you know that she will be back home with you, where she loved to be and where she belongs.
It's been over a year now since Daisy left us and everything about her is still crystal clear. It's hard to believe that so long has passed without her and there is now a little golden bundle of energy bounding around. Sammy has only been here for a week but we can already see some of Daisy's little characteristics in him. Time really will help you and you will always be able to feel Tia's presence around you when you need her most. I'm glad you have Hudson to comfort you too at this difficult time. Take care, we understand how you are feeling so very well.
One week on as we close another chapter and plant our memorial rose, "Double Delight" we still live in a surreal state, trying to hold our heads up high like Tia always did but I can't help feeling broken or incomplete no matter what I rationally tell myself about the inevitable cycle of life and death.
It is now that most of our friends and family have passed on their condolences and the silence and stillness has returned as the dust settles. It is so heartwarming to see that you guys still remember us but to everyone else we seem like old news, way, way back in the archives of the Facebook pages. Things seem to return to normal but things are not normal for us. We are no longer the people that we used to be, our routines are similar yet so different.
I feel as though I look different to others because inside I feel strange. I feel like my heart is bleeding under my shirt and yet I'm trying to limp on. You never know when the pangs and tears will hit. Today a bubbly waitress enthusiastically told me how beautiful my dog is. Then it hit me that I really do only have one single lone dog. I am so used to hearing how beautiful my dog(s) (plural) are. That one small well meaning detail (s) sent an arrow through my heart. It also must seem weird to others as we turn up to gatherings with one dog but they don't point it out out of politeness. It is all so odd that they must not feel her like we do.
Yes Karen, thank goodness we have Hudson. When we got him I knew that he would have an important job to be our support during this time in our lives just as we are for him. He is such a good boy full of sweet, love and gentleness with a hint of crazy fun for good measure. He is enjoying the extra attention and not having to share the car seat or wait for pats. Holdaisy I hope that you are enjoying your precious little nugget who I'm sure has already weaved himself into your heart
Buddy's Mom Forever, you are so right the emotions we go through are so fluid with good proud moments to moments of sorrow, then back to pride.
Danny, I know from experience that in some ways the spiritual bond gets even stronger but it feels so odd right now through this adjustment phase but we will get there.
Tia would often return from a stroll outside covered with blue plumbago flowers. We will never know why she found that bush so interesting or how she managed to get so many of them stuck to her soft fur. As we plant Tia's rose and scatter her ashes next to the plumbago bush I pray that I never forget the look that she would give me, checking up on me to see if everything is ok and the upward gaze to say I'm happy because you are happy. I feel that protective 'look' around me but I know that at some point this memory will fade but I shall hold onto it for as long as I can.
Thanks again for your continuing support and for keeping us in your thoughts,
best wishes from our home to yours.
You hurt so badly because you love so much. You are in the top 1% of people in the world who love their fur kids that much and would go to the lengths you have.
After Hudson has a little time to be your 'super special boy' perhaps one day you'll feel like taking in another golden who needs so badly the kind of love you have to give ... and give Hudson a play buddy.
When we've lost a golden, adopting another someone else threw away gave us purpose and them a shot at a life they may not have had otherwise. It honored the memory of the golden we lost. What they would have wished we'd do instead of feeling sad for a really long time.
God bless you. So many of us who have known the pain you feel care about you
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Oh Doug, I am so sorry it's so hard. Of course, with the level of love we share with our special dogs it will never be anything but that and even so, it's so life changing and devastating. There will always be things that dig deep and leap at you when you least expect it. After nearly three years there still are with my Cracker. The way you write about Tia reminds me so much of Cracker, always beside me at times of illness or sadness and full of fun and determination, including throughout her long battles with cancer too.
There are no rules in grief. Tia held your heart and will continue to do so..in the most unexpected ways and at the most unexpected of times. Hudson will make your days brighter and you will do the same for his,..right now these are your needs of each other and they will change as you all have to adapt to your loss and change in your lives. We are all here for you all of the time, feeling your pain and sharing it with you. Tia was special, Hudson is too..and you all are to us.
My darling girl who bravely went to Rainbow Bridge 23/02/2010 aged 14 yrs 4 months and is missed every day
The thougt and vision of Tia covered in blue plumbago flowers made me smile.
I think it is a very beautiful gesture of scattering Tia's ashes around the plumbago bush and planting a memorial rose for her. Both have a beauty that will always remind you of Tia
I am also happy that you have Hudson to comfort you. Maybe you could post some more pics of your boy?
Keeping you in my thoughts, wishing you a beautiful day with nothing but sweet and beautiful memories of Tia and making more memories with Hudson.
Hugs to Hudson and hugs to you
My boys from left to right:
Thunder Dachsi Toby
My Toby, my heart dog 3/12/2003 - 3/30/2013, I miss you Toby!
Doug, I am so sorry for your pain. As I read your posts I feel as though you are in my heart and head expressing exactly how I feel with the loss of my Bridgett. Tia certainly had a wonderful life with you I know and is running free of pain. I feel so much gloom and sadness, the grief I have is at times unbearable. As I watch the world around me just keep moving as usual, I don't know how to face the day, it's just so strange. You will be in my prayers as I pray and pray and pray for some sort of comfort to get me through this.
It is just such a loss. One that will always be there. How we miss them. A hole in the heart that never goes away. Yet what are we to do? I sure miss Allie. Part of me is gone and part of me died. Not an easy thing to let go. I just want to be with her. Yet life goes on. Not so easy but it goes on.
I felt that it was very important to include details about the aftermath of cancer and dealing with the empty firsts all alone in this thread as this is my reality right now and it comes up so often in this forum.
Cancer is not only a physical battle but a powerful mental one. However, it is time to start to draw this thread to a close for now as Tia does not have cancer any more and It is time for me to 'golden up' and be the boss of my own thoughts and honor her the right way full time.
I feel her getting a bit frustrated at me for not fully appreciating the fact that she is now able to jump on the bed, dance, roll over, beg and visit freely. Just like Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost. I imagine her trying to get my attention and barking at me and telling me she's fine. Some people have kindly told me that they have told their pups that have gone before to show Tia the ropes of heaven. I love imagining that Tia is chasing squirrels with Charlie and Sabrina along with a gaggle of our other goldens getting up to chaotic mischief. I selfishly want her here with me but I cannot deny her of this.
In the spirit of appreciation and gratefulness of what Tia used to get up to and what she is still probably doing I was inspired by a recent thread "What quirks does your golden have?" I began to collect photos that made Tia so 'Tia' and made a few notes but then I realised that as they say "You just had to be there" and that "Photos do not do her justice." Nevertheless I'll reveal them anyway and hopefully you will feel the sweetness behind each photo. Hopefully they spark sweet memories of your own charming goldens. Christa I also included some photos of Hudsie for you.
On the note of getting another dog (which also comes up so often on forums) I fully support it and it is never too soon. Goldens are great healers. I would only hesitate if you already have an elderly dog in your home as you may need to but it on hold for the sake, peace and respect for the existing dog. Golden pups are a handful and can be unrelenting. I do believe that dogs find you. You can hear them tapping on your heart and will not give up until you make that call. Ssacres and 4Goldens do you have this feeling? I have not felt that pull yet, probably because Hudson is already here but yes I am inspired by Danny's and Princess Di's fairytale rescue stories so this might be on the cards ... one day.
It is hard to do justice to Tia but hopefully through these photos you can see
Tia's strength and confidence in any situation
the way Tia's hair blew in the wind.
her furry feet.
her love of swimming despite how cold it may have been.
the way she was always ready to catch a flying nugget from the dinner table.
that we took her everywhere. People would allow her in their shop and we even took her inside a wine tasting room once.
her side ways look checking up on us.
the way she hated to miss out on any action.
her fuzzy head, especially the mane behind her ears.
the way that she loved ducks and hated seeing bread go to waste on them.
her love of the car.
the way she would carry toys in her mouth and squeal when we got home.
the fact that she could roll over.
the way she would beam when being lavished with attention.
the way she would suck on toys in her basket like a tiny kitten and
the way she would flag her fuzzy ears if she wanted something on our plate.
Check out her second website link underlined here: Tia&Hudson
Life is about doing your best to built and create your own joy while seizing the day with what you have. You are already one step ahead of the rest by sharing your life with a golden. My life is much richer from having known Tia.
May you continue to have the most wonderful time with your fur buddies right up til the very end. Even on the last day Tia continued to warm my heart and make me proud. Thank you for being such amazing people and for restoring my faith in the human kind Once again your thoughts and candles have amazed me