I have braced myself for this day for so long - Page 30 - Golden Retrievers : Golden Retriever Dog Forums
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post #291 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-15-2013, 08:16 AM
Misty & Holly's Mom :)
 
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What a beautifully written tribute to your sweet golden Tia, may she rest in peace and may you enjoy Hudson every day. Our goldens sure are special, aren't they?
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post #292 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-15-2013, 06:51 PM
Rudy's Lucky Dad
 
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What a beautiful tribute I believe goldens are 'God's love ambassadors', sent here to teach mankind about unconditional love. Through your love, commitment, and chronicle of her journey, Tia has immersed so many in that spirit of love.


Rudy's Gotcha Day is February 1st, 2014 ANDY - You'll never be forgotten sweet boy

******* Andy was proof Canine Lymphoma Can Be Beaten! - Have Hope *******

Tennessee Valley Golden Retriever Rescue ------------- Andy's Canine Lymphoma Thread
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post #293 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-16-2013, 09:13 PM
I miss my Buddy
 
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You do and believe what makes you feel good. I know for me different things work on different days. Some days I am lifted with pride and joy I had my Buddy and look in life as an amazing miracle, the others are foggy when I am overwhelmed with sadness and only tears help washing out my pain. Why we are here and why they are here sometimes I feel but cant explain. Those are the days when I am at peace. Hugs.


9 & half short years in my life but forever in my heart http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/...-my-buddy.html
"He took my heart and ran with it, and I hope he's running still, fast and strong, a piece of my heart bound up with his forever" - Patricia McConnell

Charlie could watch birds for hours and I could watch Charlie for hours too http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/...n-morning.html
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post #294 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-16-2013, 10:40 PM Thread Starter
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It is such a surreal feeling. It comes in waves. Saying the words out loud to well meaning friends and family has been the most difficult. Gulp! There are times where it just hits you and you wonder how this can all happen so quickly to such a strong girl. Less than a month ago were were playing on the beach. I was watching how her hair blew in the wind at cafes. We were talking to new friends at the park who did not even realise that she was sick. I think that I am still in shock.

Today is bitter sweet. I got my Christmas ornaments from Cindi in the mail with Tia's portrait on it which I absolutely adore. I see Tia looking at me with the same strong and determined look as she has always done and I feel blessed and feel that she is still here.

However tonight the vet is coming to bring her ashes home to us and this brings tears because it makes it real all over again.

I do know one thing for sure and that is the messages that I have gotten from you guys and the ones that I continue to receive each day are incredibly powerful and so special. They have helped me keep my mind busy and manage all of the firsts. Thank you.


Last edited by Doug; 01-17-2013 at 01:33 AM.
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post #295 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-16-2013, 10:46 PM
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Homecoming. It's different when it's ashes coming home. Important. Special. Bittersweet. How my heart aches for you at the thought.

Before Christmas I finally moved Charlie's ashes from the dining room table where that sat for more than a year. But not far - just to the china cabinet. Sometimes I sit and imagine that I feel his big plush head under my hand and see his incredible eyes again. Tears run. Still.

Grief has it's own schedule and each of us has to work through it. Part of love. Part of life. A tribute in its own right.

You may be ready now for a piece that helped me make sense of Charlie's passing. By American playwright Eugene O'Neill, it was written for his wife after they lost a beloved fur-person: The Last Will and Testament of Silverdene Emblem O'Neill.

Peace be with you.
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post #296 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-16-2013, 11:54 PM Thread Starter
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Wow so beautifully written.

"In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain."

This is what Tia has tried to tell me constantly throughout her battle and I had often asked her how I would cope. She would be very upset with me if I gave into the sadness. If I would shed a tear or exchange some tense words with hubby she would rush to my side nuzzle my arm, smile and wag her tail and my heart would melt. Even though she is not physically here to do that I can still feel her saying, "What's wrong? Don't worry, be happy." I still feel her strongly within me as I am sure that you still feel with Charlie and Sabrina.

I doubt that a little nugget is in our future. I think that it is now Hudson's turn to shine and not have to share. Just like Tia, we have never told him that he is not human and so this is how he sees himself, just one of us.

... However, I have learned to never say never.


Last edited by Doug; 01-17-2013 at 01:27 AM.
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post #297 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-17-2013, 07:09 PM
Thunder and Toby forever
 
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Just came online to see if you posted and see if you are okay.
I am sorry that the ashes make everything so real and painful again. But, you have Tia home, I think that would be comforting in a way.

My previous old Gold "Sam" is buried right in front of my bay window in the front yard, because I think he would have enjoyed looking out and it would have been his favorite spot if he had been able to move into our new house with us at the time. Sadly, he died the day before we were signing the contract, that was October 2001.
It gives me comfort to have him so close and I can talk to him. I would think it the same with the ashes.

Toby loves looking out the bay window, snout resting on the window ledge. He reminds me of my Sam. Sam was his uncle.

Thinking about you daily, sending a hug your way



http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/...iosarcoma.html Toby's thread

Sam (Golden Sam of Benning) 11/20/1983 - 6/18/1989
Samuel (Rachel's Tribute to Sam) 5/5/1989 - 10/23/2001
Toby, ( Rachel's Topsy Turvy Toby) my heart dog 3/12/2003 - 3/30/2013, I miss you Toby!
Thunder (lab mix): 3/12/2001 - 1/2/2014, I miss you Thunder!
Dachsi ( dachsh.) born 3/12/2010
Ben - Harborview Tugging At My Heart Strings born 11/16/2013
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post #298 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-17-2013, 08:35 PM Thread Starter
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Awh wow thanks Christa

I have been trying to gain spiritual wisdom to help me cope but seeing the ashes bring the pain back to a physical reality. It is good to know Tia's body is not sitting by itself somewhere strange. However the silence and stillness is bizarre. A part of me keeps expecting the really nice lady to bring Tia back from her holiday fully groomed.

Tia also loved the front garden so this is where she will be placed. In fact she used to sit on the balcony and bark at us any time we did the gardening out the back telling us to come back inside and sit with her when she could have easily joined us. However, seeing us do gardening out the front was a pleasure for her, we would eventually have to coax her inside. Hudsie also likes to lay his chin on the front window ledge

I am so glad that Sam was able to move with you.
We also have fond memories of a Toby and a Sam, both of whom were special goldens. Thanks for prompting the memories of these magnificent souls.

Thank you for continuing to keep me in your thoughts. Warm hugs to you and hope that you are having a blessed day


Last edited by Doug; 01-18-2013 at 12:24 AM.
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post #299 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-17-2013, 11:02 PM
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I have braced myself for this day for so long

Oh Doug, I read your entire thread and my heart goes out to you. You have such a gift with words. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions through it all. Our journey is relatively new but our time is limited. Thank you for sharing Tia with us. May she rest in peace and her memory burn bright forever.


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post #300 of 334 (permalink) Old 01-17-2013, 11:07 PM
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Holding you gently in my thoughts and prayers, as always.
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