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I have braced myself for this day for so long

31K views 333 replies 49 participants last post by  cgriffin 
#1 ·
I have braced myself for this day for so long as Tia is now 12.
The vet thinks Tia has cancer:(

She developed a lump on her side (muscle) which has increased significantly over the past month or so. We thought that it was just another fatty tumor. However apparently it is full of blood and it is growing. The vet thinks that it could be hemangiosarcoma.

The thought of her suffering is unbearable. I have no idea what to expect. I am wondering if it is safe to let her jump out of the car?

She has a history of partial seizures, panting and feeling hot to the touch. We are wondering how this all fits together. She does sometimes talk out of the blue. Other than this she is not miserable or lethargic. She loves to go on walks and her sparkly personality still shines through.

Can anyone offer any insight of what we might expect?
What do you wish someone told you when you first found out?

We have just put an order in for some Yunnan Biayoa and tumeric/curcumin.
 
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#27 ·
Oh gosh it is so hard isn't it!
I never believed in euthanasia until my cat got Lymphoma. After 9 weeks everything everyone had ever said about euthanasia suddenly became crystal clear and it was obvious it was time as we woke up one morning and found that he had crashed. At least it was peaceful. The after shock of it all and the loss after taking special care of a sick pet makes you so unbelievably numb. :(
Life has lots of incredible highs but also some very cruel lows.:(
For now we must focus on the highs just like our pups:)
 
#29 ·
Doug



Doug

What you said about the highs and lows is so true, but our pups take it one day at a time. I've heard a million times on this forum regariding euthanasia that someone would rather be a week too early, than a day too late, and I totally agree with this statement. As you said, the thought of them suffering is unbearable!
 
#31 ·
Doug, When Emmy's second tumor reappeared she did not seem to be in pain and even when the tumor ruptured she appeared to be her happy self. As our vet monitored her it was us seeing her leg become so swollen that she had a hard time getting around and would not lie down unless she was exhausted. She was still her happy golden self. Goldens don't let us know if they suffer, they live in the moment so each of the loving moments you are giving to Tia she feels and understands. I am sending lots of good thoughts to all of you.
 
#33 ·
Awh now you all have me bawling! :)

It is such a relief to know that the end can be peaceful. The tumor bursting and bleeding out sounds so violent and painful which is terrifying me. She is also a very vocal dog (happy and sad) so this also concerns me.

Every large breed dog that we have known has died at the age of 10:( The fact that she has turned 12 is amazing to us:) We have known for a long time that she would need to leave to a better place sooner or later. I have a healthy belief system of the after life. I believe that she will always be with me continuing to be my protector and best friend along side others that have gone before her that I love so much. It is this transitioning part that is the hardest for me - the unknown of what the weeks ahead will bring. Where will be when it all happens? Who will be available to help? Will it be violent?

For now there is part of me in denial. A biopsy has not been advised due to her neurological and age issues so it could be another fatty tumor (highly unlikely though) A part of me feels that she might be one the lucky chosen ones who does well on the tumeric etc.I guess this is the only way I can kind of cope.

The real kicker is that we have just bought her a magnetic collar and just this week posted about how she seems to be much happier this week. We take her on talks in the city. Of course lots of people stop us for a pat and a chat. They often tell us that she looks so good for her age.

Tia has had issues with heat intolerance. It has just turned spring here. Everyone is happy to see the sunny warm weather ... except for us. After last summer I knew the return of the heat would bring us sadness. She is restless and has partial seizures when it is warm. We often hose her down to decrease these and in the last few weeks have bought her her own personal air conditioner.

After a busy day of work we went on an extra trip to the park. Tia was running around barking and having a ball in the sunshine just like our young golden. Today she is her normal gorgeous self.

Thanks again for all of your support and kindness. It is very much appreciated!!
 
#34 ·
Awh now you all have me bawling! :)

It is such a relief to know that the end can be peaceful. The tumor bursting and bleeding out sounds so violent and painful which is terrifying me. She is also a very vocal dog (happy and sad) so this also concerns me.

Every large breed dog that we have known has died at the age of 10:( The fact that she has turned 12 is amazing to us:) We have known for a long time that she would need to leave to a better place sooner or later. I have a healthy belief system of the after life. I believe that she will always be with me continuing to be my protector and best friend along side others that have gone before her that I love so much. It is this transitioning part that is the hardest for me - the unknown of what the weeks ahead will bring. Where will be when it all happens? Who will be available to help? Will it be violent?

For now there is part of me in denial. A biopsy has not been advised due to her neurological and age issues so it could be another fatty tumor (highly unlikely though) A part of me feels that she might be one the lucky chosen ones who does well on the tumeric etc.I guess this is the only way I can kind of cope.

The real kicker is that we have just bought her a magnetic collar and just this week posted about how she seems to be much happier this week. We take her on talks in the city. Of course lots of people stop us for a pat and a chat. They often tell us that she looks so good for her age.

Tia has had issues with heat intolerance. It has just turned spring here. Everyone is happy to see the sunny warm weather ... except for us. After last summer I knew the return of the heat would bring us sadness. She is restless and has partial seizures when it is warm. We often hose her down to decrease these and in the last few weeks have bought her her own personal air conditioner.

After a busy day of work we went on an extra trip to the park. Tia was running around barking and having a ball in the sunshine just like our young golden. Today she is her normal gorgeous self.

Thanks again for all of your support and kindness. It is very much appreciated!!
I still believe tumeric helped my Allie. Allie hated the heat her whole life. She liked it cool. She spent more time in the air conditioning than outside. Plus she would get hot spots from a simple bug bite. I pray Tia can have more good days. At the end for Allie she would pick up her toy to play kill it and she would shake it a few times with such joy. Then she was tired. I so enjoyed watching my old girl have fun. They are such blessings. Hugs
 
#35 ·
Sending hugs and prayers for sweet girl Tia. Did I say I love her name.
 
#37 ·
Such awful news. I'm so very, very sorry.

This thread by Hotel4Dogs tells her story of (His Royal Highness, or HRH) Toby's months with hemangiosarcoma: http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...or-center/99786-oh-toby-doesnt-look-good.html. There is a tremendous amount of information there, as well as powerful love story.

One obvious sign that a dog is bleeding internally is paleness in the gums and tongue. The tissues thin out from fluid loss and they get a funny grayish color. That happened to Joker last summer when his spleen ruptured. When we found him early that morning, he did not seem to be in pain but he was disoriented. We learned later that he was in shock from blood loss. He did not have hemagio, so his story is not really relevant to Tia's except for what we learned about symptoms of internal bleeding.

You can do this. There is so much heartache in knowing that your sweetheart has a terminal illness, but remember that Tia doesn't know what you do and she isn't worried about the future. Try to save the tears for after Tia is gone, hard though that is.

Dogs live in the present - a precious gift that I keep trying to learn from my Goldens. Enjoy each day, spoil Tia rotten, take a lot of photos and make a lot of precious memories.

Holding Tia and you in my thoughts and prayers.

Group *GRF* Candles - Light A Candle
 
#45 ·
Doug

I can feel the love you have for Tia! I love the picture of her.
I am praying for Tia and for you.

Thanks Karen. I have updated her website with a few more photos.
Tia's photo link is underlined here: Tia

These photos remind me of the way that she smiles, begs, thumps her tail on the wall as well as her OOooooo Rooowww:) She could also roll over in her day. I thought that all goldens do all of this but apparently not. She is a very special girl who is fiercely loyal. I feel sorry for those who don't know the love of a golden.

The mere mention of Reno is like a ray of sunshine:)

GG - I have learned that goldens keep us on our toes no matter what their age:)
O I see what you mean about the grey gums now. Thanks, your description really helped.

Thanks again - your candles have set off my tears again with your sweet messages:)
 
#39 ·
Doug, we lost our Fozzie to hemangio back in July. His only symptom was a lack of appetite. It was about 6-7 weeks from the onset of symptoms to his collapse and death due to the rupture of his spleen. As long as Tia is still eating, enjoy her as much as you can, and give her lots of hugs and belly rubs. Just let your vet know when there are any changes in her. Positive thoughts headed your way..
 
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#40 ·
I am truly a believer that our precious goldens watch over us from the Bridge. Each of my goldens that have gone there give me little signs that they are close. I look for them and know that they are still in my life and my heart but just in a different way. Tia is such a lucky girl to have the love you are giving her. I took a small amount of hair from each of my kids to have and it may sound silly but looking at their hair is a comfort for me. May you have good days ahead and remember Tia lives for today and as someone said she is not worried about the future.
 
#41 ·

It is our worst nightmare, to hear our loved ones have cancer. Your heart just drops to the floor, and everything in the world comes to a halt. Unfortunately, many of us have been there, but thankfully, we have all found each other for support. May you find some comfort and support knowing thoughts and prayers from all around are being sent your way.
 
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#42 ·
Absolutely Penny. This forum is full of heart wrenching stories. I my heart always went out to that golden and their families but I felt so inadequate as quite often I could not offer any helpful advice. You guys have reminded me that reaching out is just as helpful without having to give out any influencial tips. THANK YOU it does mean a lot and it is a form of healing in itself.

GG you are a very special person. I have learned SO much from you and your support is incredibly generous. No wonder Charlie held on for so long:)
I am always confused about the colour of the gums. I guess the confusion comes from having never seen grey gums before. I shall have to Google some images. Sorry for missing Joker's spleen thread. It would have been an opportunity to support you in your time of need and I missed it:( I hope that things are back on track for you guys.

I am also a believer that prayer, reike and positive wishes do make a big difference. So thank you all, especially for the candles. :D

Thanks Karen I should add some more photos:)

I don't let T see me cry as she does not like it. As GG often says Tia lives in the moment, she does not know what is going on. Her eyes are bright all she cares about is when her next walk will be, when her next feed is and that her guardians are safely by her side.

It is finally the weekend so it will be a happy day for her. We plan on a walk around the lake and lunch with friends which are Tia's favourite things to do. I hope that you all have a wonderful day with your pups:)
 
#43 ·
I don't let T see me cry as she does not like it. As GG often says Tia lives in the moment, she does not know what is going on. Her eyes are bright all she cares about is when her next walk will be, when her next feed is and that her guardians are safely by her side.

It is finally the weekend so it will be a happy day for her. We plan on a walk around the lake and lunch with friends which are Tia's favourite things to do. I hope that you all have a wonderful day with your pups:)
This describes my Reno perfectly. 16.5 months he's been battling hemangio and all he cares about is going for his walks, being with his brothers and family and of course, eating supper, cheese and cookies!! Unfortunately he has seen me cry too many times. I try my best not to, but it's hard.

Hugs to you and Tia!
 
#48 ·
Yes I got another golden after my cat passed. We have never had two dogs of the same breed before but after having Tia we could not resist another golden. Hudson is another delightful fur kid with special qualities all of his own. Tia is his mentor, rock and safety blanket.
 
#51 · (Edited)
Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions.

Tia had a great day. We spent some real quality time together. (I'm convinced that your prayers and candles were a great influence.)

I would like to thank those who have documented their stories. Knowing that someone has really been in these shoes before really is comforting even though the journey is so taxing. Each case has their differences just like our goldens.

I took some time to read Reno's thread. Laurie you are right. It is so hard to believe looking at my beautiful girl that the sands of her hour glass are running out. Photos don't really do her justice as her fur is super soft and healthy. She is not weak in any way. She has arthritis and she often pants but she does not look miserable and is always ready to chase a duck or fend off the delivery guys. Her personality is as strong as ever. I hope that Reno is just as fiesty for you today:) I love your photos!

I also took time out to read Toby's post. Tia's mass does not look anything like Toby's. Maybe the doc is wrong. Tia's mass looks like a large lipoma the size of a fist that popped up in a month and a half with no redness.

The reality is that the pathologist did find cancer cells in Tia's lump along with other evidence and that I know by our past experience with lymphoma that it will be a fast decline when it does hit. Until then being in denial and continuing to make hay while the sun still shines may not be such a bad thing.

I hope that you have a wonderful day and that you take some time to be eye to eye with your best friends.

Thanks again for your powerful well wishes!
 
#54 ·
One week on...
i feel sick to my stomach after finding a lump on the main lump which I had never seen before which gave me quite a reality check. (Maybe it was there, maybe not)

I'm finding the choices in treatment that I should take immensely confusing.
The traditional treatments have been ruled out.
We do not have access to a good holistic vet where we live.

We have discontinued the Budwig and the fish oil for now as it can facilitate bleeds.
Maybe fish oil is ok in the right dose but what is the correct dose?
We have started the tumeric but can this also facilitate bleeds?
We are assuming that she has the big H however it could be some other sarcoma.

We will also start Zeolite today.
Essaic tea is also on our radar. We had trouble brewing it last time.
I have fears about starting too many holistic things at once as it may cause a detox overload which would be disasterous for my currently happy girl.

After seeing her become brighter after wearing a magnetic collar we have also ordered a mangetic blanket.

I took some more time to read Toby's thread and we can relate on so many levels including the part of being in denial. The heat is not good for Tia either.

I guess a whole part of this experience is having your head spin knowing that making the right decisions on her behalf which is where we are at right now.

Thank you so much for your continuing special thoughts, prayers and well wishes.
 
#55 ·
Sending lots of positive vibes Tia's way, it really is so difficult as many of us on here that have lost our goldens understand so well.

I personally have no idea about holistic treatments, but I hope that the other members that do can offer you some advice when they read this. Stay strong, you're doing everything you can for Tia and she knows how much she is loved.
 
#60 ·
Sending healing vibes and prayers for sweet Tia and her people.
 
#61 ·
Thanks guys. :)
Celebrating T and loving her is the easy bit. I've had 12 years of experience with this. She has taught me well:) he he That's a no brainer.

However as her guardian it is my role (on her behalf) to seek out ways to give her the best quality of life that she has left. I just want the best for her without all of the guess work. I know that most of you have been in my shoes and many of you have been lucky enough to have found the right helpful advice so I thought that it was worth asking.

For now we shall soldier on with our chin up and take each day as it comes but... I will always have my feelers out ready for any new info to help her feel brighter and esase her journey:)

Thanks again for your amazing support. :D
 
#62 · (Edited)
Ah Penny I love seeing your gorgeous golden's faces at the end of your posts:)

Thanks for your kind words Penny. I have been through the cancer supplement roundabout with other pets as well as with Tia back in January when we first suspected some kind of cancer. You are right it the cost is astounding. However nothing seemed as positive as the hints and tips that have been mentioned on this forum. We have resumed the fish oil after what you said but I'll leave the flax for now. We bought the tumeric from our long distance holistic vet which seems worth a try. I was surprised about the work needed for the essaic tea but it should be ok once it is all set up. I guess that instead of getting physically upset I try to chanel my energy into finding an active way to help Tia.

Thanks again and I hope that furry Penny and Luna are having a great day!!
 
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