Thanks so much guys
The following message is to provide an update for the amazing and caring people who continue to support us but also for those who will find themselves on this rocky road in the future who crave info and find a spark of comfort in the "Me too" exclamation as I have from other healing blogs.
There have been many ups but also quite a few downs. The good news is that Tia has had no other major bleeds that we are aware of. Whenever I have said my good byes (3 times now) she has miraculously bounced back much stronger the next day.
However, I have been on tender hooks and am a nervous wreck as I can hear the time bomb ticking (...well not quite a nervous wreck but I am on high alert). Having pets that have gone through this cancer journey before has made me sensitive to their last tell tale signs of the end so when I see these in Tia it sends me into a tail spin. I check her breathing, expression, any signs of wobbliness and the colour of her gums religiously. I should probably tone things down a bit but you never know if this is indeed a red flag for concern and prompt action this
time. I do not want to repeat my naive mistakes of the past and miss any signals. I do not want to live with regrets.
Tia still has diarrhea and a grumbly tummy. At times she is off her food
For a week now we have been cooking up chicken and pumpkin feasts (which she goes nuts over) and added probiotics to her diet but to no avail. Having cancer lowers her immunity to stomach bugs. Now she is on antibiotics. Hearing a churning tummy makes my heart sink only to realise that it is coming from my young golden who is more than fine :P Fortunately she cannot resist a good piece of chicken which immediately restores her into a young pup.
The heat continues to be a significant issue. I hate to see her restless and have partial seizures when it starts to heat up. I do back flips to ensure that Tia is comfortable at all times by bathing her and following her with air conditioners and fans. We get up super early in the morning so she can enjoy a short walk without too much stress for her. She has learned to love her canine cooler bed 3 which is awesome
We have had a short period of cooler weather over the last few days which has been a great relief to all of us.
Leaving the house is also a big issue. I want to be there for her when the bleed does happen. Going to Christmas parties or doing Christmas shopping that I would normally love is not what I want to be doing right now especially when I know that she is heat intolerant. Several people asking about how she is doing and repeating the painful story out loud at parties is also difficult as it makes it more real and then you can see the pity in their well meaning eyes which is another blow.
Tia is also quite vocal. She is a charming talker. For years we have been delighted over this amusing talent. Now I question if it has a different meaning. Cancer has a way of second guessing ourselves. I wish that she could speak English. Is she hungry for a midnight chicken snack because of the seizure drug Pheno? Is she bored and ready to party since we cannot take her for long walks anymore? Is she complaining about waking up hot and having to move to a cooler spot? (After much observation and consideration I do not think that she is in any pain) She is talking right now as hubby has not gone to work yet (He is on summer holidays) which disturbs her precise time keeping routine. She also starts talking an hour before
her snack or meal times. In her early days she would talk just to celebrate the fact the we got out of the shower. In the senior thread there is an endearing thread about how seniors become more demanding in their golden age and how they have deserve this right
This is the time to spoil them. Yes she has us wrapped around her little claw.
The combination of all of these worries is difficult but the bright side is that we do all of these things happily for her. For more than a decade Tia has been by our side cheering us on and celebrating us, making sure that we know that we are loved and are as happy as can be. Ever since she was a pup she would listen out to hear if we ever used our serious voices then she will come over with a bright smile because she knows that our loving happy voices would return whenever she appeared. Tia has been a great healer for us over the years and she continues to be even during this challenge. She keeps her head held high and has an extra sparkle in her eye. We sleep down stairs because to us she is more than just a dog. It is our turn to be there for her.
"It' Just a Dog
From time to time people tell me, "Lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "That's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent or the costs involved for "just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."
Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog," but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog," and, in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog" gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."
"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person.
Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.
So for me, and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a human."
So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog." just smile....because they "just don't understand."
Now Tia is talking because it is my turn to jump in the shower.. I've gotta run! :P