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I have braced myself for this day for so long

31K views 333 replies 49 participants last post by  cgriffin 
#1 ·
I have braced myself for this day for so long as Tia is now 12.
The vet thinks Tia has cancer:(

She developed a lump on her side (muscle) which has increased significantly over the past month or so. We thought that it was just another fatty tumor. However apparently it is full of blood and it is growing. The vet thinks that it could be hemangiosarcoma.

The thought of her suffering is unbearable. I have no idea what to expect. I am wondering if it is safe to let her jump out of the car?

She has a history of partial seizures, panting and feeling hot to the touch. We are wondering how this all fits together. She does sometimes talk out of the blue. Other than this she is not miserable or lethargic. She loves to go on walks and her sparkly personality still shines through.

Can anyone offer any insight of what we might expect?
What do you wish someone told you when you first found out?

We have just put an order in for some Yunnan Biayoa and tumeric/curcumin.
 
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#143 ·
Wish I had wise words of wisdom to offer that would help, but all I can say is you will know when it is time to let Tia go - you know and love her so much you will know when the time is right

Take care x
 
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#146 ·
Doug

Doug

Will be praying for you and Tia-I understand your fear of being alone and not be able to get her help in time. Is there an emergency animal hsptl. close to you that is opened around the clock? Is there a neighbor that could go with you?
Like Bob Dylan said, my Smooch stopped eating and her breathing seemed somewhat labored and I took her to the vet-he thought it was time.
 
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#147 ·
I am sorry for your anguish. I fully understand your fears.
I know it has to be agony to know and decide what the right decision is.
I guess you have to think about quality of life and whether she still has that quality. That is not something that anybody but you can decide and know. I think and also hope that Tia will let you know when that time comes.
I lost both my previous goldens unexpected and fast without having to make that difficult decision.
I so wish the best for your Tia!
Hugs to the sweet girl!
 
#151 ·
Many, many times I have read the advice "Better a day too soon than a day too late." This may resonate with you more in the days to come.

Remember that Tia will not begrudge you a day, but she adores you and it would break her heart to cause you added pain. It is not only okay but really necessary to consider what you can handle and what is right for the rest of family. Each of us can only cope with so much before we break under the strain.

At some point, the side effects of meds don't matter anymore; what matters is being at peace... at rest. Death is not an enemy; it is just another transition - sometimes one to be dearly desired because it brings an end to agony, whether physical or emotional.

Breathe, friend. Listen to your heart. Listen to Tia. You will do the right thing at the right time and we will be here for you. We all know that whatever you do will come from love for Tia.

Hugs and prayers,
Lucy
 
#152 ·
Many prayers on your way for you and your sweet girl.
 
#153 · (Edited)
We do have a 24hr vet 5 min up the road.
You would not know that Tia was ill if you saw her right now especially after she just scoffed her chicken which is what makes this decision so hard.
Here is a underlined photo link of Tia today which gives you an insight of her quality of life: http://smedley.id.au/TiaToday.png

I have been reminded that people and animals are able to leave their bodies during times of extreme pain and that there are lots of special moments to enjoy in between bleeds. The harsh reality is that none of us know what will happen in the immediate future and when we will be thrown into crisis mode which is a part of dealing with everyday life. I am very grateful that at least we have been given a heads up and are able to partly prepare ourselves for the worst case situation.

Thank you for your ongoing heartwarming support :) and prayers for a super smooth transition.
 
#154 ·
Dear dear Doug, I am so sorry for all the anguish you feel. I remember it so well and in fact your post has left me breathless as it is so similar to the situation I faced with my last gorgeous Golden. She looked wonderful and didn't stop smiling but something told me it was time. To many it was a little before 'time' but like you I feared something would happen. She greeted our vet at our door with a favourite blanket in her mouth, tail wagging and he said it was THE right time, far better a day early than a day too late when something's happened to force the decision. I knew that in my heart but it helped to have him tell me :( I think your heart will tell you too, listen to yourself when it does and have a very special final few hours with her. We went to the park, she walked there, and we took lots of family photos. It was such a special morning,..so very painful but special in its own way.
I am so sorry you have to face this too at some point, she's beautiful and that's a wonderful photo. No one can tell you when the times right, you know her and you are with her but we are all here to support you, whenever that is, before and after.
Thinking of you all and hoping and hoping Tia picks up and enjoys more time with you. We had an extra three months with our girl that we never envisaged. These pups are full of surprises at times too ;)
 
#155 ·
Love, hugs and prayers, Tia is so sweet.
 
#156 · (Edited)
Thank you, Doug. That is a wonderful picture!

I hope you did not misunderstand my question about quality of life. Obviously, Tia has a great life with you and is happy, that is not in question.
By quality of life, I mean, does she eat, does she seem in pain all the time, has the spark left her eyes, does she seem very uncomfortable and restless, is losing weight drastically, no joy in life? I meant when those things start to happen, then it is a question of quality of life.
I feel sooo bad, I so do hope you did not misunderstand.

Continued hugs to Tia from the Tennessee gang.
 
#158 · (Edited)
Thanks Buddy and Charlie's Mum Forever - Your sweet photos have inspired me :) I hope that the magical elves fix your camera asap:)

Christa, I totally agree with you and got what you were kindly saying. If Tia looked miserable, lost interest in family activities, could not take herself outside and could not eat this decision would be quite different. Our vet had a quality of life chat with us earlier on in the year so I am glad that you reminded me about it. As you say quality of life is about being able to smile and beam like she is in the photo (therefore we are on the same page.) I'm so sorry. Please don't feel bad! You have been a wonderful and caring and we appreciate all of the support you have given to us :D Thank you!!

We also very much appreciate GG and Karen's comments as we also know that they come from a good place of the best kind of love and friendship. :D They are trying to spare me a great deal of heart ache. Thanks also to Elly for sharing her very personal experience and her positive wishes.

This decision is a gamble that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Will she go quietly like so many other fortunate dogs or will trauma be a part of her passing? If an distressing death was most likely this would also be an easier decision but no one knows for sure what the odds are.

As my vet says noone (meaning herself) knows T as well as me. That photo sums up the special moments we have been sharing lately and what she has been telling me and that is that she wishes to stay which means like everything in life we must cross any difficult bridge when and IF we come to it.

Thanks again for all of your support which has been nothing than pure golden :)
Hugs to all including your gorgeous fur kids!
 
#165 ·
Hey Doug, I hope Tia is doing well today :) That photo is gorgeous and shows just how much she is still enjoying life :) It is the hardest and one of the biggest decisions to make but I promise you, you WILL know if and when the time is right. I see it on a weekly basis with my clients, and they worry themselves so much about whether they will know when the time is right. The truth is there is no set right time as such; some prefer to let them go when they still have a good deal of quality of life, prefering to spare them of any real pain and others prefer to wait till they have got to that point. You will know, though I really hope you don't have to. It is so so hard but it really is one of the most selfless and kindest things we can do. If only goldens could live with us on this planet for longer, they bring us such joy for such a short time in our lives but it is worth every minute; every chewed up blankets, socks, toys, every early morning walk, they can't help but make you smile even when they are driving you mad. I once read on a fridge magnet - dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. So very true.

Wishing you, Tia and your family all the very best in this hard time. I hope that you still have many more happy days together xxxx
 
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